He folded his arms and pinned her with his stare. “Are you sure you aren’t avoiding me after we got a little physical the other night?”
“Get over yourself, Josh McInnes. Not everything is about you. Stick a pin in that ego of yours and deflate it a little.”
He frowned. “So what are you doing here, if not avoiding me?”
“I’m doing what I usually do: reading to Patrick, helping out with anyone else who doesn’t have a visitor. Which I need to get back to.” She headed towards another open door. Josh followed her.
The woman inside was tucked up in an armchair, knitting. She grinned when she saw them. “Oh good, you brought company.”
“No,” Caroline told her. “I didn’t. He’s leaving.” She gave him a pointed look.
Caroline stood in the doorway to block his entrance. Josh glanced around the room and did a double take when he saw the place was filled with hand-knitted bears. All the same size and shape; only the colours varied. He blinked a couple of times before turning back to Caroline. “I’ll wait for you. We’ve got dinner with my parents tonight.”
“No. You won’t. I have things to do after my visit here. Don’t worry. I’ll be at dinner on time.” She didn’t seem pleased by the thought.
“I’m happy to wait. I haven’t seen you for days.”
She let out a long sigh. “Josh, don’t take this the wrong way, but I am a very busy person and I can’t deal with you right now. I promise to make time for you after the wedding. Okay?” She patted him on the chest, patronisingly, then took a step back into the room. A second later, the door slammed in his face.
Josh stared at the door. “Is there a right way to take that?” he shouted.
People in the corridor stopped to stare at him. The woman behind the front desk was laughing hard.
“Fine.” Josh struggled to regain his dignity. “I’ll see you later, then.” There was silence from the room.
Having no other option, Josh turned on his heels and went back to the castle.
Caroline waited until she was certain Josh had left the building, before she peeked out of the door.
“Don’t worry,” Grace called from the reception desk. “He’s gone.”
“Why are you hiding from this man anyway?” Elsie wanted to know. “If I had a boy chasing me with a bum like that, I wouldn’t be hiding. If you don’t want him, send him in here. I can think of some things to keep him busy.”
Caroline took a deep breath. “What is it with the seniors in this centre? They have sex on the brain.”
Elsie gave her a wicked smile. “When you’re my age and as bored as I am, you’ll be just the same.”
Caroline didn’t think so. “Right. I have to go. I have things to do before I meet Josh’s parents.” She inwardly cringed at the thought. “I’ll get Kirsty’s mum to drop off your wool. If you need anything else let her know.”
“I’ll be fine. You concentrate on the sex god who’s following you around.” She winked. “And don’t forget to fill me in about it next time you come.”
Caroline sighed and left Elsie to her knitting.
To make sure that she didn’t bump into Josh, she followed the back roads and lanes up the hill to the graveyard. The cobblestone road was hot beneath the soles of her shoes, and the sun was heavy on her head. There was something about summer in Invertary that enticed a person to laziness. All around you meadows full of wild flowers and fragrant heather called out, demanding that you lie in the shade with a book. Or doze in the warmth of the sun. It took all of Caroline’s formidable will to resist the call. There were things to do. There were always things to do and the summer season was no exception.
She let herself through the old wrought iron gate and into the graveyard. She negotiated her way around the myriad of old headstones, some covered with ivy, others so worn that you
couldn’t read the writing on them. In the corner, under the oak tree, Caroline stopped at the graves of her parents. She knelt down in the lush grass between the two graves. Her chest constricted at the sight of her parents’ names. Even though she long ago stopped wishing they were still with her, the pain of seeing them there made her ache.
“I know you’re not really here,” she said to the stones. “I know you’re in heaven and you can’t hear me. But I still needed to talk to you.” She pulled the skirt of her pink dress over her knees. This was silly. She knew that. But now, more than ever, she felt their absence. “Anyway.” She felt her eyes beginning to sting and blinked several times to clear them. “I wanted to tell you that I’m getting married. His name is Josh and he’s American.”
She took a deep shuddering breath and brushed her fingertips over the stone of her mother’s grave. “I know you wanted me to marry a nice local boy, but it seems that the men in Scotland aren’t interested in me.” She lowered her eyes. “I probably didn’t turn out the way you wanted me to. I’m not as easy to get on with as you might have liked. And I’m not as pretty as you were.” She straightened her back. “You should probably know that this isn’t a love match. It’s an arrangement. Josh wants a wife that isn’t famous and a non-romantic relationship. And I want a family.”
It became hard to swallow. Caroline watched the breeze play with the leaves above her head until she could speak again. “I miss being part of a family. I miss you both so much. And now that Elaine and Emma have moved away, and Granddad is with you, it’s just me here. Alone in Granddad’s house. And I’m fine with that. Really I am. I just want a family of my own. Children to take care of. People to love.” She smiled at her father’s headstone. “Dad, you would understand, you were always the practical one. You’d see the sense in accepting this deal from Josh. Mum,” she turned back to her mother’s grave, “you might have struggled. I know how romantic you were. I know you would worry that I’m not going to have the same sort of relationship you and dad had.”
She chuckled. She wasn’t sure anyone could have the same sort of relationship her parents had. The way they loved each made them glow. She remembered their stolen kisses and the looks filled with longing that they’d shared. She cleared her throat and picked a daisy from the grass beside her.
“So, I’m meeting Josh’s parents tonight and wanted to include you too. If you were here, we would be facing this together. But you’re not.” She paused for a moment. “I don’t think they’ll like me. I’m trying to be practical about that. They probably imagined Josh with some glamorous American woman, someone who knows how to dress and how to behave in public. Someone who isn’t socially awkward, and who doesn’t order people around when she feels nervous. Instead, they’re getting me.”