Goody Two Shoes (Invertary 2)

Caroline pursed her lips. “He isn’t my tribute band. He isn’t pretending to be Caroline. He’s out there pretending he’s Josh. In the middle of the night. Waking up the street.”

Officer Donaldson’s eyes crinkled with amusement. “I know that, Caroline. I’m taking him back to the station. Do you want me to charge him with trespassing and disturbing the peace?”

Caroline chewed her lip. In her normal run-of-the-mill existence, there had never been a reason to decide whether a singing stranger should be charged by the police. “How about a warning?”

Donaldson nodded. “He seems harmless enough. Maybe a bit overenthusiastic about the wedding, though.”

Caroline toed the carpet with her bare foot, vaguely wondering if she should start painting her toenails now that there was a man in her life. Her back snapped straight. A man she was mad at. A man she wasn’t talking to. That sort of man didn’t get painted toenails.

Donaldson smiled at her. “He came all the way here from America as soon as he heard about the wedding. Keeps telling me he’s Josh’s biggest fan.”

“That’s what Kathy Bates said right before she chopped off James Caan’s foot in Misery.”

“She didn’t chop off his foot in the movie, she smashed it. You’re thinking about the book, that’s where her character chopped off the guy’s foot.”

Caroline glared at him. Really? That was relevant how? He was totally missing the point.

“Okay,” Donaldson said, as he ran a hand through his short black hair, making it stand on end. He didn’t seem to care. Someone said something through the radio that was strapped to the shoulder of his blue uniform. “This thing is going to get crazier before it settles down. Your wedding is attracting a lot of attention. I know you think you have the town locked down tight, what with the domino boys manning barely legal barriers that I’m turning a blind eye to, but the crazies are still going to slip through.”

Caroline didn’t say anything. What could she say? Her life had become entertainment for everyone she knew.

The police officer sighed. “I’ll talk to Josh. See if we can sort out some security for you. Keep the nutters away until after the wedding.”

“No!” Caroline took a step towards him. “He already arranged something with Lake and I told him I don’t want it.”

Donaldson put his hands on his lean hips and looked down at her. Not quite as tall as Josh, but not far off. He had the whole police demeanour thing going for him, so it was quite intimidating. Caroline rallied all of her skills in dealing with difficult people. “This is my business, not Josh’s. You don’t need to talk to him.”

Officer Donaldson studied her for a moment. “Caroline, if you were my fiancée I’d be seriously cheesed off if someone was harassing you and I didn’t find out.”

“No one was harassing me. It’s just an enthusiastic fan singing in my garden.”

“The garden of a woman alone. In the middle of the night.”

Caroline swallowed hard. “I don’t want to tell Josh.”

He leaned in towards her. “Why?”

She bit her lip.

“Caroline.” His tone said he was running out of patience.

“Fine.” She folded her arms and stuck her nose in the air. “Because I’m not talking to him. I don’t want him to know because I don’t plan to talk to him, or deal with him, until I walk down the aisle. And even then, the only words I plan to say are ‘I do.’ Then I may never talk to him again.”

Donaldson fought a grin as Caroline surged on, her anger winning over her normally icy demeanour.

“He’s annoying. He’s arrogant. He’s bossy. He doesn’t listen to a word I say. He keeps butting in on things that are none of his business. He does what he wants when he wants—without listening to what I tell him. In fact, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t listen to me at all. He certainly doesn’t do what he’s told, and I’ve had enough. So I don’t want you to tell him. Do you hear me, Officer Donaldson?”

She pointed at him then realised she was pointing. Caroline never pointed at people. It was rude. She clasped her hands together tightly but kept up the glare. Damn man was almost as annoying as Josh.

“Yeah, I hear you. You don’t want me to tell him because you’re giving him the silent treatment?”

She straightened her shoulders, and for the first time in her life had to work at being intimidating. “No. I’m explaining the dynamics of our arrangement. He is not in charge.”

She didn’t say that she was in charge. As far as she was concerned, that went without saying.

The police officer threw back his head and laughed. “Fine, Caroline. I’ll let you handle this the way you want.”

She nodded. About time.