Goody Two Shoes (Invertary 2)

“Caroline, what can I do for you?” the officer said.

“Josh McInnes is in my house and I want him to leave. Could you come over and escort him out, please?” She gave Josh her “so there” look. He didn’t seem impressed.

“I’m a bit confused, Caroline,” Donaldson said. “Do you mean the real Josh?”

“Yes, the real Josh.” Honestly, she wondered if there was an IQ test for becoming a police officer. There should be.

“You want me to escort your fiancé off the premises?”

“Yes.”

“Has he hurt you in any way?”

“Of course not,” Caroline told him.

“Threatened you?”

“No.”

“Damaged your property, stolen something, made you feel afraid in any way?”

“No.”

“They why do you want me to make him leave?”

“Because…” Caroline knew her tone said she thought she was dealing with an idiot, but she was too annoyed to do anything about it. “He’s here with a bag telling me that he’s moving in, and I told him he isn’t. He’s not listening and I want him gone.”

There was a heavy sigh. “Is the wedding off? Are you and Josh finished?”

“No. I just don’t want the man in my house. I’m not talking to him.”

There was silence. Josh had finished off her meal and was now stretched back in his chair, grinning at her. Like the idiot he was.

“Caroline.” Donaldson’s tone had a hint of suffering to it. “I can’t make your fiancé leave your house unless there’s a legal reason to do so. Turfing him out because you’re giving him the silent treatment doesn’t cut it.”

“But I don’t want him here. And he’s definitely not spending the night.”

There was a heavy sigh. “Put Josh on the phone.”

With a smug smile,

Caroline handed the phone to Josh.

“Thanks, baby.”

His attitude made her want to scream. She fought the urge.

“Yeah?” he said into the phone, then there was silence. His eyes hit her. Then he was laughing. Hard. “My place is a pit,” he told Officer Donaldson. “She’s got a crew ripping up floors and tearing down walls.” More silence. “Yeah.” He looked at Caroline, something hot flashing in his eyes. “She’s a handful, all right.”

“That’s it,” Caroline snapped. “Give me that phone.”

Josh handed it over with a lazy smile.

“Why aren’t you telling him to go?” she demanded as soon as the phone was at her ear.

“Caroline, this is a domestic situation. You need to sort it out between the both of you. You don’t need the police. My advice is that you stop giving the guy the cold shoulder and talk to him. Maybe you can deal with this before it’s time for bed. In the meantime, I have proper police work to do. If he gets out of hand, or does anything threatening, give me a call. But seriously, being in a huff with your boyfriend is not a reason to call the cops.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” No. He was the thorn in her side.