Goody Two Shoes (Invertary 2)

Josh handed back the menu. “Surprise me, then. Just make sure it’s a man-sized portion.”

“Make that two,” Mitch told him.

Dougal smiled as he bustled away. Josh turned to the window. They were sitting on the side of the pub that faced the loch. The rich blue water was perfectly still, while the hills on the other side of the loch seemed hazy through the warm afternoon sun. He took another drink. It wasn’t LA, that was for sure, but Josh was beginning to think that was a good thing.

“I only intended to use the castle as a holiday home. But it’s not so bad around here.”

“No,” Mitch agreed as he watched the loch. “It’s not so bad.”

As they stared quietly out into the distance, Josh caught sight of a familiar face and stilled. “Are you seeing what I see?”

“Yeah,” Mitch said.

The two men pushed out of the booth.

“Back in a minute,” Mitch called to Dougal. “Put the food on the table.”

He nodded, clearly curious as to where they were going. Josh and Mitch jogged across the road towards the loch and the man in the suit.

“Josh!” The guy spread his arms wide and grinned. “I love it here, man. I’m going to add a kilt to my act.” He paused. “To our act. You got to add a kilt, man.”

Josh folded his arms tight. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Mitch scowl. “What are you doing here, Danny? You know you’re not allowed within two hundred feet of me.”

“I looked into it.” Danny was clearly delighted at his brilliance. “Restraining orders are only valid locally. So don’t worry, I’m not breaking the law. I’m okay.”

Josh let out a sigh. Great. As long as his stalker was okay. “I’m not worried about you, Danny. We had a talk, remember? I told you to back off, to concentrate on your own life, but you didn’t. That’s why we have the restraining order. It’s supposed to make you restrain yourself. You need to go home.”

“I need to be here,” Danny told him. “We’re doing Scotland, man. We’re getting married.”

“No. We’re not getting married. I’m getting married.”

“Yeah, that’s what I mean. But I need to soak up the new married Josh. Got to get the vibe right for my act.”

“Danny.” Josh could hear the tightness in Mitch’s voice. “You don’t need to get the vibe right. All you need to do is turn up wearing your suit and sing Josh’s songs. That’s all people expect from you.”

Danny shook his head again. Josh briefly wondered if he was overheating in a black wool suit in the middle of summer.

“You’re wrong, Mr. Mitch,” Danny said. “I have a reputation. I’m as close to the real thing as folk are gonna get. When I turn up they get the full Josh experience.” He swung his head back to Josh. “Except for the goofy T-shirts. The general fanbase doesn’t need to know about those.” He seemed to think about it. “Although maybe I should get some too?”

Josh looked skyward as he searched deep for patience. “How did you get into town, anyway?”

Danny grinned widely. “I told the women at the checkpoint I was you. I sang ‘Fly Me to the Moon’ for them. Got a standing ovation.”

Josh ground his teeth. “Were the press there?”

“Only a couple. Don’t worry, man, I didn’t sign any autographs this time. I did tell them that I was happy to be marrying Caroline. Said she was the best thing that had happened to me.”

Josh clenched his fists. Tight. “Danny. We’ve been over this. You don’t stand in for me with the press. You don’t pretend to be me when you’re not doing a gig. You don’t follow me around—especially not halfway around the world.”

The guy looked so crestfallen that Josh almost regretted being firm. Almost.

“I’m trying hard, man.”

“You seeing that counsellor I set up for you?”

“I’m in Scotland, man, how am I supposed to do that?”

Josh counted to ten. “Before you came to Scotland?”