Goody Two Shoes (Invertary 2)

“Andrew, are you listening to me? You can’t just come in here and kiss me like this.”

“The hell I can. You’re my wife.”

She tugged against his grip. He didn’t release her. “We’re getting a divorce.”

“We’ll see about that.” He kicked the kitchen door open and tugged her inside.

Now, where would be a good spot to get all kinky? He eyed the table. Didn’t he see a scene like that once? What was the movie? Oh yeah. The Postman Always Rings Twice. He wasn’t sure he’d liked that film. But the scene he remembered gave him ideas.

He dragged her towards the table.

“Andrew. You’re acting like a madman. Stop this at once.”

“No.”

In a dramatic display of his masculinity, he swept the dishes off the table. He grinned at the sound of them smashing on the floor.

“Andrew. You’re scaring me.”

“Don’t be daft.” He dropped the bag beside the table. Picked Helen up and sat her on the edge. Just the right height. He stepped between her legs, cupped her head with his hands and settled his mouth on hers. This time she wasn’t numb. She responded straight away. So much for her complaining. He growled with satisfaction.

Her hands slid into his suit jacket and around to his back. She clung to his shirt. Her nails digging into his back. Andrew wanted to grin. The suit worked a charm.

Slowly, he eased her back until she was lying on the table.

“What are you going?” She was breathless.

“I’m doing what I should have done a year ago when you said you needed space.”

He kept a hand on her stomach as he reached into the bag. He brought out a set of black fluffy handcuffs. They looked a bit cheesy to him, but what the heck. Helen eyed the handcuffs with worry.

“Are those handcuffs?” She struggled to get up. “Stop it right now.”

He snapped the cuff around her wrist, then shackled the other end to the leg of the table.

“Free me right now, Andrew McInnes. Have you lost your mind?”

He ignored her. Instead he brought out the other set of cuffs and secured her other arm. Once he’d finished, he took a step back to survey his work. He couldn’t help the sense of satisfaction that welled within him. The books were right. Everything was going to plan.

Helen thinned her red and swollen lips. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“We’re going to have kinky sex.” He rummaged around in his bag until he found the black silk blindfold.

“We’re what?” Helen was screeching now.

He walked around the table until he was at her head. “No more shouting. It’s ruining the mood.”

Her mouth fell open. “I’m ruining the mood? What mood would that be, Andrew? The mood where my soon-to-be ex-husband snaps, takes me hostage and ties me to the table? Is that even a mood?”

He was regretting his decision not to buy one of the gags he’d seen in the shop. “I’m trying to be romantic, woman.”

Her eyebrows shot up her head. “By tying me up and threatening kinky sex? I don’t want kinky sex. I don’t even know what kinky sex is. I want you to leave.”

“Damn it,” Andrew mumbled, “I thought all women read the same books.” He patted his wife’s head to reassure her. “Don’t worry. I studied up on this. I’ll show you what to do.”

Helen dropped her head to the table with a loud thump. She didn’t seem to be in the mood for sex. Andrew decided to plod on anyway. He had a plan. It was a good plan. He was wearing the suit to prove it.

“Right, lift your head. I need to get this blindfold on.”