Mr. Big Shot (Mr. Big 1)

I really didn’t have to go, but was hoping to find a way to extricate myself from Ichabod's attentions. I checked my cell, trying to distract myself from thoughts of him making the moves on me, and discovered that Luke had texted me.

LUKE: Save me.

I frowned. What the hell?

ALEXA: Save you from what?

LUKE: Terminal boredom.

That made me smile. I could see him in my mind's eye, sitting in a meeting, yawning behind a hand, his blue eyes wide with frustration. Maybe those sexy dark rimmed glasses on that made him look so brainy.

ALEXA: I was going to ask you to save me.

LUKE: Oh, yeah? From what? Whatever it is can't be as bad as the current hell I'm in…Quarterly financial reports… *yawn*

ALEXA: You’d be wrong about that. I'm at a supposed party at Valencia to celebrate my successful comp, and I'm practically falling asleep with my eyes open it's so dull. And then, there's this guy…

There was a pause.

LUKE: What guy? *takes on a fighting stance* Doesn’t he know you’re my fake girlfriend???

I smiled.

ALEXA: I was thinking of pretending there was a family emergency or something like that. Ichabod won't leave me alone and I can’t be mean to him because he’s my advisor's star teaching assistant.

LUKE: Ichabod?

ALEXA: Ian Crane, a PhD student. He has this really skinny face and red hair. He reminds me of Ichabod Crane in this book I read as a kid. If he gets any closer to me, I’ll scream. When he talks, I swear I can see his uvula.

LUKE: His uvula? GROSS

I laughed.

LUKE: You have to learn to give men a big hint because many of us – not me, of course – can’t catch a clue. Tell him you have a boyfriend. You can use me as an excuse. I mean, since I used you. Turnabout is fair play and all…

ALEXA: I can’t do that. Eve

ryone knows I’m a total nerd and don’t have a boyfriend. I haven’t had one for a year at least.

LUKE: YOU. ARE. NOT. A. NERD. You’re a geek. Lie. Everyone does it…

There was a pause as I thought of how to respond.

LUKE: A YEAR??? HOLY SHIT. Not to pry, but you haven't had sex for a whole year?

ALEXA: One typically needs a partner to have sex so, yes, over a year, actually. Don't make fun or I won’t be nice and go to Westhampton with you.

LUKE: Sorry but I can't imagine you *cough* being single for over a whole year. My God, don't you go crazy? I mean, more than a year? How much more?

ALEXA: None of your business. Some of us have control over our biological functions.

LUKE: Nuns and priests, maybe…

ALEXA: I'm no nun. There are alternatives to actual sex with another human being, you know.

LUKE: Hmmm. Tell me more… Not that I'm slavering to imagine you doing all kinds of nasty things to yourself in the absence of a proper man with proper man parts…

ALEXA: Ha! Wouldn’t you like to know.