If You Fall (Brimstone 1)

I frowned and pushed him playfully. “What the heck are you talking about? I went right home. Besides,” I said and knocked the bottle of tequila I was holding down on the top of the bar, “he’s not a hood. He’s the CEO of a company. And it’s none of your business. You’re not my big brother.”

“You need one,” he said. “You don’t know what men are like, Mira. They’re dogs looking for a bone.”

I grinned to myself, thinking of a snappy retort like “Maybe I want a bone…” but I held back. Steve seemed so serious and protective. As one of Dan’s old family friends, I knew he was just trying to protect me.

“Just sayin’,” he said and shook his head, polishing a glass with a fresh cloth. “That guy was trying to hook up with you. I could see it as plain as day.”

I shrugged and went back to my drink order.

“Of course he was trying to hook up with me. It happens sometimes,” I said. “I happened to stay no, so don’t worry about me.”

Just then, Jeanne and Scott came in for dinner, which they did occasionally, to check out the service and make sure the food was up to snuff. I joined them during my break and sat across from them in their booth. They were two lovebirds who always sat side by side, holding hands despite the fact they’d been together for over thirty-five years.

I sighed to myself as I sipped an ice tea, watching them gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes. I always thought Dan and I would be together for thirty-five years. Instead, I had a couple of years when we dated and then three brief months of married life – such as they were with him deployed to Afghanistan.

“So, are you excited about going back to school?” Jeanne asked, her eyes bright. “We’ll miss you but you have to start your life again. You and Steve both leaving us. What will we do?”

“I’ll miss you both,” I said and smiled. “It’ll be hard to leave Topsail Beach. I’ve had some of my happiest days here.” Then I frowned. “I didn’t know Steve was leaving too. Where’s he going? I thought he was still going to bartend on weekends during the school year.”

“He’s transferring to Columbia. Didn’t he tell you? We thought the two of you were…” She raised her eyebrows.

“Steve? No!” I said a bit too forcefully, embarrassed that they thought Steve and I were a thing. “We’re just friends. Co-workers. He’s like my big brother.”

&n

bsp; “I know,” Jeanne said and reached out to squeeze my hand with affection. “It’s okay if you find someone new. Dan would want you to finish your degree and get a job. He’d want you to live your life, sweetie. Find someone new.”

“I will,” I said, almost cringing because of the awkwardness of the conversation.

Then, they talked about Dan’s memorial coming up in a month. We’d all drive to Arlington and visit Dan’s marker in the memorial, then they’d take me north to Manhattan. Leah and I would get settled into our respective dorms for the year.

My stomach was filled with butterflies thinking about it but there was a small part of me that felt reluctant to leave Topsail Beach behind, as if doing so meant Dan would be lost to me forever.

I had to stop thinking like that. I would always have Dan in my memories and in my heart, no matter what.

Maybe I’d meet someone who could be a substitute. No one could ever replace Dan, but someone might be good enough to stand in for him in my life. Steve was a friend, but I never thought of him like that. He was uptight and always seemed so in need of being right about everything. I was used to Dan’s freewheeling ways.

Steve was moving to Manhattan and transferring to Columbia? Well, that was sure news to me. He was studying business at UNCW. Sure, he’d said he’d miss me when I went back to Manhattan to finish my degree, but I never thought…

“A few of the other families will be meeting at Arlington on the 19th, so we can visit,” Scott said.

I nodded, drawn back into the conversation from my thoughts of Steve. I really didn’t feel like socializing with the other families. It was such an emotional time when Dan died. All the other families were at the joint memorial and I felt as if I couldn’t get a hold of my emotions. Maybe with a year having passed, I might be better able to handle meeting the other families who lost their loved ones that day in the accident.

A year is a lot of time.

I smiled at the two of them and drank my ice tea.

Later, after my shift was finished, I sighed and glanced around the bar, wishing that Beckett had returned and was there to make me smile and engage in some friendly banter. I had fun with him, despite how obvious he was being about trying to pick me up. He was a good sport about it, and didn’t get obnoxious even when I turned him down. He was more resigned and amused. I could tell he enjoyed just talking to me. I had the feeling I would enjoy doing much, much more with him if I’d had the chance.

It was too soon. Or rather, Dan’s memorial was too soon and my mind was trying to get around my whole move back to Manhattan and my return to school. A hookup with a new man was the last thing on my mind, despite how long it had been since I’d been with Dan. I felt guilty even going there, although my body did of its own accord in sexy dreams with faceless men. I’d even let myself imagine what Beckett would be like as a lover. I had a feeling he’d be intense and alpha. I had a feeling he’d know what to do to make a woman thank her lucky stars.

“Wanna go out for a drink, maybe a slice of pizza?” Steve asked as I removed my bar apron. “I don’t feel like going home right away. I’ll only be fifteen minutes.”

I shook my head and tucked my apron into a nook behind the bar. “No, I’m beat,” I said and covered my mouth while I yawned. “Plus I have to do daily cash in the morning…”

“Maybe another night,” Steve said with a smile.

“Sure,” I said and shrugged, leaving the bar. He was closing so he had to do the re-stock and cleanup. It was one of the perks of being head bartender. It felt a bit strange since Steve was older than me, but he was newer at bartending so Scott and Jeanne put me in charge. Steve got the grunt jobs.