"Sorry," he said, frowning. He lay back on the bed, his hands behind his head. He just watched me for a moment. "What have you been doing?"
"We went for a boat ride and then had lunch. I've been sleeping."
"What would you like to do?"
I shrugged my shoulder again. "I don't know…"
He sat up closer, so that he was sitting next to me, and kissed my shoulder. "Kate, I know something's wrong. I can tell. What is it?"
I yawned again. "I don't know. I'm a bit bored, I guess."
"You're probably not used to leisure time, having nothing to do. Your father said you've been working like a dog for years, working on your degrees and for Geist."
"It's just that most of the people here are older than me. There's no one here my age. I feel like I'm in an old-folks home or something."
He just watched my face, a strange expression on his.
"Would you like to go out to a bar? The locals have some nightlife. Dancing."
I made a face. "Whatever." I actually didn’t want to go out somewhere. I wanted to just cry. "Not really. I don't know if I want to be out among the locals."
"Come here," he said, holding his arms out.
"Why?"
"I need to hold you."
I shrugged and climbed onto his lap. Of course, I felt incredibly sad doing so, because I wanted his arms around me, and I felt so sad about what I had to do.
He tilted my head up and just looked in my eyes, his face perplexed. "Kate, what's wrong?"
"I don't know," I said, trying to sound bored. "Just bored, like I said."
He kissed me, and I tried hard not to kiss him back, but he was insistent. He started to search my body with his hands, pulling me into his arms. I had to do everything I could not to respond to him. I thought about the ugliest things I could to stop my body from responding. I thought about the scent of dead bodies in the graves outside Mangaize. I pictured worms in a grave crawling through a decomposing body. I thought about never seeing Drake again, and a surge of sadness filled me, making my throat choke up.
Drake pressed me back on the bed and lay on top of me, his arms cradling my head while he kissed me, one of his knees between mine, pushing my legs apart. He kissed me intently, completely focused, his breathing becoming more intense. He pressed his hips against mine and I felt his erection. It felt delicious and my body couldn’t help but respond, so I thought immediately of Kurt, and how he scared me that night we broke up.
Finally Drake pulled back. He just stroked my cheek, silently giving up.
Then, his cell rang and he pulled it out of his pocket and checked the ID.
"Crap," he said. He answered. "Hi," he said and liste
ned. "Not tonight. No. I have something planned." A silence followed. "Sure," he said. "Tomorrow before the plenary. See you then." He ended the call and turned back to me, his brow furrowing.
"You really are tired," he said. "I'm not feeling the usual response in you."
I yawned and stretched. "Maybe," I said, wracking my brain for how to do this. "It's just so dead here. Nothing to do."
"I can think of lots I want to do."
"Yeah?" I said, keeping my face blank. "Like what?"
He smiled but it seemed forced. "Do I even have to say?"
"Oh," I said and crawled away from him, standing up. "That. I'm thirsty. I'm going to get a drink." I took my bag and went to the vending machine down the hall. I bought a drink, needing to get away from him, from his strong warm body, from the scent of his aftershave, the look on his face.
I just stood in the hallway and opened the drink, taking a sip, wanting to delay this, not sure how I’d be able to do it.