The Agreement (Unrestrained 1)

I looked in his eyes. "I feel like I could do anything with you."

He ran one hand up my back, his gaze moving over my body, then back into my eyes.

"Convince me," he said, his voice a bit husky.

"I need you," I said, thinking of reasons. "I may see you only two or three times over a week but I want you every day and—"

He placed a finger over my lips. "I didn’t mean with words…"

I smiled. He was giving in. I crawled up a little bit closer to him, my arms around his neck, my groin pressed against his. I kissed him, starting off softly and then deepening the kiss, my tongue finding his. He was totally passive. I ground myself against him, pressing my breasts against his chest. Then, I pulled my sweater up and off my body so that I was in my bra, my skirt and of course, my garter belt and nylons. I rose up onto my knees and embraced his head, my breasts against his face. I pulled the fabric of my bra down to expose my breasts the way he always did, then I squeezed them, tweaking my own nipples until they were hard. I closed my eyes, wanting him to suck them, but not feeling right demanding it from him, so I just imagined it while I touched myself.

Finally, he reached behind me with his good hand.

"Let me help you with that." Then, he pulled me closer, his mouth covering one nipple. After that, he pretty much kept one step ahead of me, always turning whatever I did into something he ultimately controlled. When I climbed on top of him as he lay naked on the bed, he subtly directed me, telling me where to put my hands, how fast to move, when to kiss him. But I had my way with him. He didn't tie me up, he didn't blindfold me, he didn’t make me come four times before he did.

I came once and then he did, fucking me from behind doggie style, which didn’t rely on his hand for anything.

I didn't call him Master once.

Afterwards, as we lay there with our limbs entwined, the sheets wrapped up around us, I turned to him.

"You survived vanilla sex yet again."

He grinned. "It's all I ever used to do."

I said nothing for a moment, wondering about his introduction to the lifestyle. "How did you start doing BDSM?"

He rubbed my back with his good hand, not saying anything.

"You don’t want to talk about it?"

"Not really. Let's just say I recognized my Dominant side, got some instruction—"

"From Lara," I offered.

"From Lara," he said.

"This was after your divorce?"

"Kate," he said, exhaling. "I'm tired. I have to sleep…"

"I'm sorry," I said, a stab of hurt in my chest. "This is hard for you. We're mixing up the food on your plate too much, right?"

"Shh," he said and shut the light off. Then he pulled closer, spooning against me the way he always did when it was time to sleep.

In the middle of the night, I got up and went to the bathroom. I closed the door and turned on the light to check my wound and my eye was already bruising. I was going to have a black eye.

I turned off the bathroom light and went back to the bedroom. Drake was asleep, his breathing slow and deep. Seeing him lying there, knowing that he was so uncomfortable with a normal romantic relationship, I felt a sense of grief somewhere in a dark corner.

I wanted more from him, but I had the sense that it was impossible. I'd have to settle for what he could give me. I'd have to accept only seeing him in secret several times a week, when we were lucky. It made me sad, but it was just the way things had to be.

I didn’t want to stay there feeling the way I felt, so I dressed quickly and snuck out of the apartment. I hailed a cab and went back to my own apartment. I couldn’t pretend to be 'in scene' with him after that. It felt too much like 'pretending'.

So, at just after three o'clock in the morning on Christmas Eve Day, I was getting out of a taxi outside my apartment building when who should get out of a parked car but Dawn.

"There you are," she said, rushing across the street to me as I had the key in the lock to the building. When I realized it was her, shock went through me.

"Dawn," I said, acutely aware of my bandaged head and now-bruising black eye. "What are you doing here?"