Forever After (Unrestrained 5)

“I understand,” she said softly, tears still brimming and spilling out onto her cheeks. “You deserve to have a wife who wants to make love with you. I’m the one who’s sorry that I’ve let you down.”

“Don’t say that,” I said and searched her eyes. “You haven’t let me down. There’s no way you could let me down.”

“It’s just that,” she said and shook her head quickly. “I don’t have any excuse. I didn’t push a baby out, so I’m not healing or anything.”

“Shh,” I said and put my finger over her lips. “You had a huge abdominal incision and internal injuries. That alone takes more than six weeks to recover from. Some people take six months."

I pushed hair from her face and held her chin so she had to look in my eyes, finally. Really look in them.

"You almost died, Kate," I said, my voice breaking. "You almost died.” Then, tears filled my own eyes as the reality of her near-death experience struck me hard. “I almost lost you and Sophie. I know that you’re not ready yet. I can wait. I waited all my life for you.”

“I can wait a few weeks more,” I said. “Months might be hard, but I’d wait if that’s what you need.”

“Months?” she said with a look of horror on her face. “I was thinking maybe days. I’m still so tired. And worried about Sophia. The sleep apnea… I'm always afraid she's going to stop breathing."

"She's fine," I said, trying to reassure her. "We have the monitor. It's there for our comfort only. She hasn't had any bouts of sleep apnea since the NICU."

"I can't stop thinking about it," Kate said. "I have a hard time sleeping because of it. Sex is the last thing I think about after a whole day of everything else. In fact, I don’t even think about it.”

“I know,” I said, nodding. “That’s why I haven’t made any real advances. I know you’ll show me that you’re ready.”

She raised one shoulder like she felt awkward. “Isn’t that going against our usual relationship? You’re the one who decides?”

I shook my head and took hold of her chin. “That was when we first met and I was still trying to keep some kind of control over my emotions. Now, I don’t feel that need. At least, not as often. I can respond to you when you come to me in need. Believe me, I can respond. Happily. You come to me when you need me and I’ll be there, ready and waiting.” I smiled at her and wiped the tears off her cheeks. Finally, she offered a faint smile.

“Okay,” she said softly. “If you say so. I’ll let you know.” Then she played with my collar and smiled to herself. “Should we have a code word?” she said and looked in my eyes. I could see a tiny hint of tease in them.

“Code word?” I said and frowned, pretending not to understand.

“Yes, code word. You know. I could say something like, I feel like relaxing tonight. Something subtle.”

“You don’t have to be subtle with me, Kate. You could say, ‘Now, Drake,’ and I’d be ready. Any time, any place.” I grinned at her and she finally cracked a huge smile and leaned forward to kiss me.

“I love you,” she said softly when she pulled back. “Thank you for understanding.”

“I love you,” I said back. “More than anything. I can wait.”

She sighed and laid her head on my shoulder and I pulled her tightly against my body. We remained like that for a moment and of course, the feel of her softness against me aroused me once more but I did my best to quash the desire, imagining a slimy pit of snakes at the bottom of a well, my childhood fear, to ward off an inconvenient erection.

“Did you want me to watch you?” she said, her voice almost a whisper.

“I pulled back and looked in her eyes. “You want to watch me beat off?” I grinned.

“If you want me to,” she said. “If it would get you off better than some nameless tart on the internet.”

“Nameless tart on the internet? Did you think I was looking at porn?” I said in mock affront. “I’ll have you know I was watching the highest quality sex goddess around.”

She frowned.

I picked Kate up as I stood and carried her upstairs to the bathroom where I’d dropped my iPad in my haste to zip up. I opened it and showed her the pictures of herself, bound and blindfolded, I had been masturbating to only moments earlier.

“There,” I said and showed her. “That’s my goddess, the woman of my dreams, fulfiller of my fantasies.”

She took my iPad and examined the first image of her on the bed, her thighs spread as I fucked her. Then she flipped through a few more images, all of her in various poses, with or without my dick inside of her – her mouth, her pussy, her hand, between her breasts.

“You were using these to jerk off?” she said, a smile on her lips that she was trying hard to hide.

“I’ll have you know that I don’t jerk off. I beat off,” I said with a laugh. “Jerk sounds so… so… unsophisticated.”