Unrestrained (Unrestrained 3)

"Kate…"

"It's true," I said, defensive already. "Tell me it isn't true."

He merely shook his head and glanced away for a moment as if it was hard to look in my eyes.

I was so tired and had been through so much, I couldn’t think. "Your work is so important. You have to go back. I have to stay."

"You're important to me." He glanced up at me. "Do you understand that?"

"Yes," I said, looking away from his too-intense expression. "Of course, I'm important to you. I'm right there, just below your career, your patients and teaching."

"There's no below, Kate. You're on the same level."

I stared at him, hoping that was true.

"Do you believe me?" he said, taking my hand once more, rubbing my palm. "Do you believe that you're as important to me as my career and my patients and my teaching?"

"If you say so."

"That's not a resounding yes." Then he exhaled slowly. "This isn't getting us anywhere. If you don't feel that I value you that highly, I'm doing something wrong. Kate, you're everything to me. I couldn't imagine not being with you, not loving you, not having your love."

He said it with such emotion, that I felt incredibly guilty for doubting him.

"I agreed to go to Nairobi when I thought you no longer wanted to be with me," he said. "I made a commitment to Michael and he planned the year based on my coming, arranged the class schedule so that I'd teach the surgical courses, and contacted patients who needed my skills to come to the hospital. I want to spend more time with you, but I can't let Michael down."

"Of course you can't!" I said, my emotion finally spilling over. "I don't want you to. I don't expect you to leave Nairobi. My God, Drake. I know how important this is to you and to Michael, and to all your patients. But you have to understand that my father is sick and could die. I can't leave until I feel certain that he's going to be fine. I can't go back and sit all alone in Nairobi while you're away working, doing what you have to, doing what you love. I'd be so unhappy…"

"I understand." He stroked my hair, his gaze moving over my face. "You're upset now, because of what happened. You can't think rationally. Promise me this," he said and leaned closer to me, taking my hand, his face so serious. "Promise me that if your father is doing really well next Saturday, and if Aaron says you don't have to worry, that you'll return with me to Nairobi. If anything happens, you'll be on the next flight back, I promise."

I examined his face, his blue eyes so intense, his face pale. I tried to see my way to promising.

"I promise that if Aaron is happy with my father's progress, and if I feel that I can leave on Saturday, I will," I said finally.

"Thank you," he said, his voice filled with emotion.

"But," I said and pulled my hand back a bit. "If I don't feel that I can leave, you have to let me stay without any complaints."

I could see him grind his teeth for a moment. He nodded. "Agreed."

Elaine walked up at that point. "Either of you kids want to have coffee with Ethan? He wants some and needs help drinking it."

"I do." I smiled and stood up, glad to be able to leave the heaviness of the conversation with Drake to see my father. Before I could follow Elaine back to my father's room, Drake grabbed my hand and remained sitting. He stared up at me, my hand in his, his expression earnest.

"I'm sorry you're not happy in Nairobi. Don't give up on us, Kate."

I stopped and frowned. "Why would you think that I might give up on us? I'm staying because of my father, not because of you or how things are in Nairobi. If this never happened, I would never even think of coming back here until you were done with your term at the college."

He kissed my knuckles, and nodded, but I could tell by his expression that he didn't really believe me.

I knelt between his knees and slipped my arms around his waist. "Drake, it isn't that I'm not happy in Nairobi. It's just that I couldn’t imagine being there while my father's life is at risk. I'm happy there, but if I thought my father was dying…"

"I know," he said and smiled, but I could tell he was forcing it and that he didn't really believe me. "I'm being selfish. I want you there all the time. That's all."

Finally, he bent down and kissed me, his lips pressed against mine, lingering there as if he didn’t want me to leave. He pulled away and helped me up.

"You better go help your father with his caffeine fix."

I kissed him once more and then left him in the waiting room.