"I'll join you."
Her smile fades.
That’s when I know she wasn't planning on coming back.
"I was going to go see my mom after I get the juice."
"You're not coming back to the office?"
She shakes her head. "I've put in a few hours. Besides, I want to cook supper for my dad. He's been eating cafeteria food all week."
I let go of her arm and she starts down the rest of the stairs.
I don't try to stop her. "Come over after you're done supper if you want."
She glances back at me. "I'll see how I feel."
"Open invitation."
"I know," she adds and forces a smile. "If I don’t see you tonight, I'll see you at work tomorrow. Same time, same bat channel."
I smile at her Batman reference, but I feel a knot in my gut.
Her leaving and not telling me isn't out of the norm. She would always pop her head in and say hello, but she would often leave without saying goodbye. Not seeing her until tomorrow is totally normal for us – before we fucked.
Now, it feels like she's ignoring me. Deliberately or not.
I don't like the way it feels.
"India," I call out. She stops at the bottom of the stairs and turns around, looking up at me on the landing.
"Yes?"
"Are you all right?"
She nods, but it isn't exactly enthusiastic. "I'm tired. I guess the stress of everything is getting to me. I need to take some time off."
I come down the stairs and stand in front of her, my hand on the door. "You can talk to me about anything, you know."
"I know," she says softly but I can tell from her voice that she doesn't feel that way.
Obviously, she doesn't feel she can talk to me about anything anymore.
"Has this totally fucked our relationship?"
She exhales and looks away, like she can't meet my eyes. "I don't know."
"I don’t want this to have fucked things up."
"Me neither."
"You have to tell me how you feel, India."
"I don't know how I feel, Jon, except confused." She meets my eyes finally, and I see the pain in them – in the way her brow is furrowed. It's not anger. It's sadness.
I reach out and cup her cheek, stroke her skin with my fingers. "I only know that I want you," I say, because it's the truth. "Whatever that means and whatever that involves."
She nods, but she doesn't reply with something similar. Instead, she pushes the door open and leaves me standing there in the entrance, the door closing behind her.