Finally, once the water had cooled enough that it no longer offered any comfort, I got out of the tub and dried off, dressing before returning to the living room.
I sat and read for a while, but the urge to feed — or to find some warmth — was overwhelming. Soon, I found myself back at the cottage, standing outside her window.
I wanted to go inside and lie with her, use her body for warmth if I couldn’t feed. It would keep me from feeling too ill without blood to sustain me.
She gasped when she saw me, pulling the coverlet around herself.
“What are you doing here?” she whispered, her voice trembling. “You said you wouldn’t hurt me.”
“I won’t. I haven’t been able to find anyone to feed off. The streets are bare and I couldn’t enter anyone’s house without being invited. Seems that even the
vagabonds are inside tonight.”
“Why are you in my room?”
I said nothing for a moment, considering whether it was better to just leave now, make my way closer to Portland. But I'd tasted her blood and that changed everything.
“I’m so cold.”
She pointed to a cedar chest at the end of the bed. “There’s a wool blanket in there for spring days when it’s cold in the mornings.”
“Wool won’t do the trick,” I said, my voice low.
She hesitated. “What will?”
“I’ve already had a hot bath, but without blood, I can’t get warm.”
I watched her recoil, shrinking away from me when she thought I was going to feed off her.
“I’m not going to offer to let you drink my blood, so you’ll have to force me.”
I fought with myself. I could use my powers to glamor her so that she'd welcome me into her arms, but that went against my ethics. No matter how hungry or cold I was, I wasn't used to forcing anyone into my arms against their will. Even feeding on the tramps by the railway tracks made me feel incredible guilt. I fed on them so I wouldn't feed on her.
“Let me lie with you,” I said finally. “I need body heat if I can’t feed.”
She pulled the covers more tightly around her. “You want to have sex with me?”
“No,” I said firmly. “I mean, yes, of course, but I won’t. Just let me lie with you under the covers. Your body heat will warm me. I promise nothing will happen.”
“How do I know you’ll keep your promise?”
I shook my head. “You can’t know. I haven’t harmed you yet. You’ll have to trust me.”
She sat back against the headboard. “What if I say no?”
I sighed. “I’m so cold, Calla. Here.” I went over to the side of the bed and held out my hand. She didn't touch me. I sat on the bedside and took her hand, holding it in mine. Then I placed her hand on my neck so she'd know just how cold I was.
“Please,” I said, keeping my voice soft. “I don’t want to force you.”
“Then don’t.”
I sat for a moment, my eyes never leaving hers. Finally, I went back to the door. When I reached it, opening it without another word, she spoke.
“Wait,” she said.
I turned slowly, wondering if she'd had a change of heart.
“You can lie with me for a while,” she said, her voice wavering with emotion, “but I’m a virgin and I don’t want anything to happen.”