“I love you,” he said once more.
I kissed him and pulled the covers up around his neck. “I love you.”
I left him in the darkness, my paper waiting on the desk. It would be a few more hours before I could go to sleep because I wanted to get the first draft of my introduction turned in to my supervisor before the end of the week. I went back to my desk and sat staring at the paper, reading the same paragraph over and over again, unable to focus, my thoughts on Drake and his son and how sad it was that he would miss Liam’s childhood.
The next morning, after Drake left, I sat with my coffee staring at the screen on my laptop, searching for the right guide to take us to visit the Harenna Forest and the crash site in Ethiopia, and then, to the Loisaba Lodge in Kenya. There was so much I wanted to do in Ethiopia on top of visiting Liam’s grave. I wanted to go to the Great Rift Valley and see if I could visit a paleontological dig site at Oldupai – maybe the site where they found Lucy – the oldest human ancestor. I remembered Drake saying Ethiopia was Liam’s favorite place and so I wanted to visit.
I contacted several outfitters who hired out guides for Oldupai and Harenna, and arranged to visit Liam’s grave during the first week of the trip and the second week would be spent in Kenya. I was lucky to get two guides at such a late date, for the guides usually booked months in advance.
I wondered about visiting with Michael and Claire in Nairobi while we were in Kenya. I had such a bad experience with her and did not want to have to see her again, but I’d suffer to make Drake happy, if it meant Drake and Michael could get together and have a nice visit. Claire’s machinations had nothing to do with Michael and so I didn’t want to come between the two men.
Then, I turned my focus on flights and hotels on the way there and back. Drake said the last two weeks in February might be a good time since a lot of people planned holidays during that time period in anticipation of March break. I took a chance and picked two dates for departure and return and soon, I had picked our flights and printed off our itinerary and digital tickets. I was excited for it would be a meaningful trip for us both.
So I had one present taken care of and now I wondered what else I could get for Drake for Christmas. I wanted something else to put under the tree. Finding another gift was going to be hard. Drake lacked nothing. What did he want? I thought about what was missing in his life. He had everything else he could ever want in terms of possessions. No clothes, no toys, nothing.
The only thing I could think of was that he was missing his mother in his life and of course, Liam, his son. I doubted there was anything I could do about either. Maureen and Chris were so antagonistic towards Drake that they would never let him be a part of Liam’s life. I thought maybe Maureen might give me a photograph or two of Liam that Drake could keep but I was afraid of causing problems. Still, it was worth a try. I knew that Drake probably had Maureen’s number on his cell and so I decided to see if he had her email or phone number in his contacts. I hated to be sneaky, but if it was going to cause problems, I hoped I could keep it limited, so Drake wouldn’t get upset.
I planned to take Drake’s phone and check his contacts when he was in the shower later that night. I’d call Maureen and see if she’d at least agree to send a photo or two that I could have framed.
That left only Drake’s mother, Louise. I only learned her name because I saw Drake’s birth announcement in an old photo album we found when we were sorting through his father’s things after we were married. A small card with elephants and balloons, with a blue “It’s A Boy!” and the details inside – Drake Liam Morgan, son of Liam and Louise Morgan…
I wondered about Louise. Drake had no photos of her, nor any mementos. It was as if she never existed. I hoped Drake would open up about her after we were married but he seemed to keep that part of his past buried down deep. He had no living siblings and whatever uncles or aunts existed, Drake never visited. I had the sense Drake was actually a very lonely man at the base. It felt so wonderful to become his wife and to be one of the very few people to really get close to him. He’d been so restricted in his relationships since his divorce. I could see him blossoming as a man and as a human since we met, and he was already pretty special as a person before. A talented neurosurgeon and musician, a philanthropist, and a professor of surgery.
He had the professional part of his life all figured out. It was his heart that he kept protected. Slowly, I thought I saw that part of him open up as well. I’d do everything in my power to make him as happy as he could possibly be.
Later, when Drake came home, I snuck to his desk while he was in the shower and picked up his cell, scrolling through his contacts in search of Maureen’s cell number. I found it, and wrote down her email as well. I’d see if she’d agree to send a photo of Liam that I could have framed for a gift. I was probably crazy thinking that she’d be willing, but a part of me felt I had to try. Although Drake never knew Liam, he had saved the boy’s life. Giving Drake a photo of him was the least she could do.
At least, I thought so. Maureen might have a different idea.
The next day, when Drake left for work, I sat at my desk and wrote Maureen an email:
Dear Maureen:
I hope you don’t mind that I’m emailing you, and I understand you don’t want Drake to be a part of Liam’s life. I know he cares deeply about Liam’s welfare – so much so that he agreed not to try to make contact with Liam or force things with you even though he could. He knows you and Chris are great parents and the last thing he wants is to disrupt things and upset Liam. I was hoping that you’d agree to send me a photo of Liam that I could have framed for Drake as a gift. I know it would mean the world to Drake.
Thanks and I hope all is well with Liam.
Kate
I sent it off, feeling anxious that she’d get mad and make a fuss. Still, Drake deserved to have a picture of his own son, especially since he saved Liam’s life. If Maureen wouldn’t do at least that for Drake, she was some kind of bitch.
I waited all day for a response, but gone none and so I wondered if perhaps the email was one she didn’t check often. When I checked my phone, I saw that my email had been bounced. She must have deleted that email address.
The only alternative was to send her a text to the phone number on Drake’s cell. The text didn’t go through. She really didn’t want Drake in her life, if so.
I was angry that she’d be so cruel after what Drake did for them. Then I had a brainstorm. I’d go and meet Drake at the hospital and drop by the children’s ward before, to see if I could speak directly to Maureen. I feared that she’d be hostile seeing me, but hopefully, she’d understand and it might mean I could get a photo of Liam.
I texted Drake and let him know I’d be in the neighborhood, and that I’d meet him at the hospital and we could come home together. He was pleased and suggested we stop off for dinner on the way home and I agreed. Now all I had to do was get to the hospital with some time to spare, and check in at the children’s ward to see if Maureen was there. With my heart in my throat, I took the subway north and then a bus east to NYP, hoping that I wasn’t making a huge mistake.
The children’s ward was as I remembered it – brightly colored walls with Disney characters and a playroom filled with all manner of toys. There were no children playing when I arrived just before seven at night. The ward was quiet, and the waiting room was empty. I went to the nursing station and asked one of the nurses if Maureen was there seeing Liam and she nodded. I didn’t want to interrupt her visit but I thought I’d walk by and let her know I was there. My heart was pounding as I walked down the hallway, peeking inside each room in hopes of seeing her and sure enough, at the end of the hallway in an isolation room was Maureen, Chris and Liam, his little body on the bed between them. He looked so small and frail, but his hair had grown in and it struck me how much like Drake he looked. I could see that Maureen might hope he was Chris’s son for Chris was very much like Drake as well.
I stood outside the room, watching, and finally, Chris looked over and saw me. It took a moment, but then apparently, he recognized me. He frowned and said something to Maureen, who jerked her head around and saw me, an angry expression on her face. She stood abruptly and then Chris grabbed her arm.
Chris came out instead of Maureen, but she stood watching me, frowning. On his part, Liam was unaware, and was busy playing with a Gameboy so whatever drama was taking place, he didn’t seem to notice.
Chris left the room and then came out of the anteroom, his gown still on.
“What are you doing here?”