"Drake, that’s insane. If you can even think that might happen, you don’t know me at all. I would never do that."
"How would I know? We've only been together for four months. You're still so young. Who knows what hidden kinks you might have."
I felt like pulling my hair out. "It's the truth," I said, stroking my hands through his hair, my eyes brimming. "I left at 6:00 and was back here at 6:15. I was so happy to get away from Kurt and back to you."
"Why didn't you wake me up?"
"You were sick!"
I finally caught his eyes with mine, and he was so upset, his eyes wet.
"Oh, God, Drake," I said, almost sobbing. "Nothing happened."
"You have to always tell me the truth, Katherine," he said, his voice low, as if he was starting to regain control over himself. But something changed in him at that moment. "You have to tell me right away. I have to know you're being completely honest with me, completely open. I can't have any doubt ever," he said, slicing his hand sideways like a blade. "I can't."
"You don't have to doubt me," I said, my voice breaking once more. "I love you. More than anything. More than I ever thought possible." I kissed him, my hands on either side of his face, but his mouth was unyielding, his lips pressed firmly together, his body tense beneath mine. I pulled away, desperate for him to understand. "Drake, I love only you." I kissed him again. "Only you."
"Why, Kate? I let you in," he said as he stared at me. "I let you in."
His eyes, usually so clear blue were now bloodshot. They burned into mine, his brow furrowed as if he still didn't know whether to believe me. I had to look away because his expression was so pained.
He tilted my chin up so that I was forced to either close my eyes like a child or look in his. I finally relented. Then he pulled me against him, burying his face in my neck and pressed me down on the couch. We lay there in silence for long moments, his hands confining mine, his face in the crook of my neck.
Finally, I heard him sigh heavily. "Why didn't you tell me right away?"
"I knew you were jealous. You told me you were jealous. I was afraid you'd misunderstand."
He exhaled. "Kate, I can't stop men from hitting on you. But you have to trust me completely and tell me when they do. No secrets. It's absolutely necessary for this to work. I've been lied to. I've been cheated on. I can't have it. I won't take it."
"You have to trust me, too."
"How can I when you didn't tell me right away? Were you hoping it would never come up?"
"Every time I tried to tell you, you'd do something to stop me. I wanted to find the right time, and well, you read the paper…"
"It upsets me that it was Dave who told me. It hurts that he had to phone me to ask if I'd seen the picture."
I sighed. "I was wrong not to tell you right away. I didn't think it was important. It meant nothing to me. If anything, it reinforced why Kurt and I broke up. You have no reason to be jealous."
"You have to understand," he said, touching my cheek. "Your father tried to fix you up with Kurt first, before me. He thought Kurt was just your type. He thought Kurt was perfect for you. I was around, listening to him talk about Kurt and how he wanted you to get together."
"What?"
He nodded. "You know, Kurt's a Marine like he was and like my father. A veteran. A pilot. Strong. Intelli
gent. A bit older than you, but still, closer to your age. He's really good looking, on top of everything. You have to understand back then, I was forced to listen to your father's campaign to get you together with Kurt. He told me all about how he thought Kurt was perfect for you and that you'd love him…"
I shook my head. "He's not. I don't – he's nothing to me. You're everything."
"I was like second best to your father," Drake said, a rueful smile on his face. "If Kurt didn't work out, there was always me."
"You're better. A million times better. And I can't believe my father talked to you about setting me up with Kurt. Why?"
"I asked about you. Frequently. He seemed to want to talk about you to someone. He was busy trying to get you together with Kurt when we started to become friends. I figured he didn't consider me because I'm so much older than you."
"I like that you're older than me. I've told you that."
"Still," he said, his voice hesitant. "You might not always like it."