“Er, yeah, we already went through that when you were alive. You’re welcome.”
“But, Derrick, remember. Cornelius is a special dog. He knows what really happened.”
“So?” Derrick says defensively. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Not the reaction I expected.
“Oh, Abby, I’m so sorry!” Phoebe breaks in sobbing.
Aha. Here we go.
“You should be sorry, Phoebe. This is all your fault.”
“Wait,” Anthony whispers loudly, “I thought Abby just forgave her.”
“Maybe she changed her mind,” Aurelia mutters.
“I never meant…that is, it wasn’t supposed to happen this way,” Phoebe says. “You’re right. It’s my fault. You said you forgave me. Did you mean it?”
“On one condition. You have to tell everyone what you did to me. It’s the only way your soul can be saved.”
Brittany clutches my hand so tight I think it’s going to fall off. She doesn’t really believe this, does she? I must be better at this than I thought.
“Yes, yes, I’ll confess to everything. I’m so sorry, Abby, I never meant for us to get in that big fight. I was just so jealous because you had Cornelius.”
“Go on. Tell everyone what happened. It’s the only way I’ll ever be at peace. Otherwise, I might have to…haunt you forever. You wouldn’t want that, would you?”
“No, no,” Phoebe says. She takes a big breath. “After Derrick took Cornelius for Abby, I couldn’t stand it. I just had to have him for my own. So…that Friday evening, I broke into Abby’s house and stole him for myself.”
I knew it!
“Abby was furious,” continues Phoebe. “Not that I blame you, Abby, not one bit.”
“Tell them the rest of the story,” I command. I have to admit, this is kind of fun. No wonder Gloria is so into this.
“Abby called me and said she knew I’d taken the dog. We got in a huge fight, and she threatened to sic her pyscho brother on me if I didn’t return him.”
“Hey!” says Derrick. “Who’s calling who a psycho here?”
“Silence!” I say in my best Abby-dead voice. “I want the truth and nothing but the truth! You’re leaving out the important details. Like what happened when Cornelius bit you, and we had to get Father McGuffin involved for the exorcism.”
“Bit me?” Phoebe sounds confused. “Cornelius never bit me, and that exorcism was your crazy idea.”
Now I’m confused as well. If Phoebe wasn’t the bite victim, then who was? Derrick?
“Forget about the bite for now. Continue.”
“First, I need to know.” Phoebe clears her throat. “Is it…very horrible where you are, Abby?”
“Yes,” says Victor, “We need to know that you’re all right.”
Horrible?
Oh. I see what they’re getting at.
“I’m in a wonderful place. Very quiet and lovely. And not hot at all. It’s like…Florida, but in the winter. And I get to eat all the ice cream I want.”
Phoebe lets out a huge sigh of relief. “Oh, Abby, I’m so happy for you!”