Bellamy's Redemption

“I can’t say yet.”

“You can too,” she said.

“You might be right,” said Bellamy.

“Woo hoo!” yelled Shar. “I knew it!” She stuck her tongue in his ear and giggled. Then she farted and giggled some more, fanning her butt.

“So, Bellamy,” Vanessa began, trying to take some control over the conversation.

“Hell, yeah! We’re jumping out of a plane! It’s so freakin’ obvious. Am I right? Am I? Can I be strapped to you?” Shar asked Bellamy, bouncing on his lap.

“Maybe,” he said. His face was turning red. “Um, could you stop that bouncing?”

“Do you know the producers tried to keep me away from you today?” Shar said to Bellamy.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said.

“Isn’t that right, you haters,” Shar said, talking directly into one of the cameras that was mounted on the ceiling. “You want to keep me down. But you can’t stop love. Uh uh. You. Can’t. Stop. Love.” She stuck out her tongue and tried to roll her eyeballs back in her head.

“I’d like to formally relinquish my position as a contestant in the fight for your heart,” Vanessa said. She removed her earrings, necklace, and bracelet, and set them all on the small portion of Bellamy’s lap that wasn’t occupied by Shar. “Furthermore, I would like my time here to immediately cease, since I have no intention of jumping out of an airplane.”

“Huh?” said Bellamy.

“Y’all are crazy if you’re going to put up with this, this, behavior,” Vanessa added, glaring at the rest of us.

“Vanessa, what are you talking about?” asked Bellamy, removing his arm from around Shar’s shoulder and handing his glass of champagne to Deb for safekeeping.

“If you like Shar, you cannot possibly like me. We are too different. We are complete opposites in every way.”

“Haters got to be hatin’,” said Shar.

“You’re quitting?” asked Bellamy.

“Bellamy, look at her,” said Vanessa. “She is dripping pool water all over the place, wearing a cheap orange bra, and she is not even supposed to be here. Yet she is clearly your favorite,”

“Besides Alanna,” Deb interrupted.

“Besides Alanna, she is clearly your favorite,” said Vanessa. She crossed her arms and looked out the window.

“I don’t have favorites,” said Bellamy. “I like all of you.”

“I don’t get why you like all of us,” sniffed Vanessa.

“Shar is fun. I’m looking for someone who can have a good time with me. But you’re smart and beautiful. I want to get to know you better. Put these back on,” he said, handing her the pile of jewelry.

“So you don’t think I’m fun?” asked Vanessa.

“I never said that. Put this stuff back on and don’t go home yet. Please?”

“Fine,” said Vanessa, sulkily reattaching her jewelry.

We all rode along in silence, until Deb clapped her hands and said, “I’ve got a fun idea! Let’s play the license plate game. We’ll see who can find the most license plates from different states. California!” she yelled, pointing out the window at a car passing us. “That means I’m winning.”

“I can’t see any license plates from where I’m sitting,” said Amy.

“I think we’re almost there,” said Bellamy. “I’d like each of you to put on one of these.” He pulled a stack of blindfolds from a bag on the floor none of us had noticed.

“This is hot,” said Jessica, gladly putting on hers.