“I do,” she said, a tight smile on her face.
“Well then, let’s make the most of this,” I said. “It can be like a spa day.”
“I suppose,” she said, lightening up a little. “You know, I could really use a massage. I wonder if there is any place around here where I could get one. My back is so sore all the time. Working on this show is, like, a fulltime job.”
“Look over there,” I said. Off in the distance was another strip mall. I could see a sign over there for a place called Back to Yourself. “That looks like a massage place, doesn’t it?”
“I think you’re right,” said Irene.
“You go on ahead,” I said, veering off towards the nail salon.
“I’m not supposed to leave you alone,” she said.
“You’re not?”
“Um, no, I’m not.”
“I won’t tell anyone.”
“Since you’ve got a mic on, they will know. They’ll know we had this conversation. They’ll know you’re trying to break the rules.”
“I’m not trying to do anything but make your life easier,” I said.
“Why don’t you come with me to the massage place, and then if we have time, we’ll get our nails done,” she suggested.
Just go, I mouthed, wiggling my fingers like a tiny person running towards the massage place.
No, she mouthed, firmly shaking her head.
Yes, I mouthed, firmly nodding my head.
“I’m glad you’ve decided to come with me,” she said, forcibly enunciating each word.
“Fine,” I said, falling into step beside her.
“You were right,” she said as we got a little closer and saw the sign on the store window advertising Deep Tissue Massages just $78! “I am beyond happy to be here. My shoulders are killing me!”
“Sure. Me too,” I said. I could use a massage.
When we got inside I realized it was nicer than I’d anticipated. A fountain gurgled by the front window and the whole place smelled like lavender and eucalyptus. I thought we were listening to some kind of new age music station until I spotted a man in the corner wearing baggy linen pants and a mesh tank top, strumming a harp with his toes while playing a pan flute.
“Wowza,” said Irene. “Impressive touch!”
“No, that’s our sister shop, over in Encino. This is Back to Yourself. What services may we provide for you today?” asked the woman at the front desk.
“Let me take a look,” said Irene.
“Would you both like some chamomile licorice tea while you review our services list?”
“Sure,” said Irene, not even looking up.
“This place is rather fancy,” I whispered to Irene. I only had forty dollars in my pocket. I was afraid the tea might cost that much.
“Here you go,” said the receptionist. She had two ceramic teacups on a platter, with two teensy thimble sized cups next to each teacup. “The teacups, of course, contain tea. These small glasses contain hot wheatgrass chasers, and it’s recommended you make the wheatgrass your second sip, after tasting the chamomile licorice tea. These other small glasses contain muted peppermint oil chasers, which you will want to save until you are done with the larger cup of tea. Would either of you like soy milk or a shot of oxygen?”
“No thanks. I think we’re ready to order. We’d each like the deep tissue full body massage with a buttermilk hot towel facial and fruit plate package for $599 each,” said Irene, after examining what looked like a menu from a fancy restaurant. She yawned and nonchalantly placed a company credit card on the front desk. “Don’t pop anything on her face, please,” she said, nodding towards me. “She has to be on television later.”
“Noted,” said the receptionist.