“So now you aren’t interested in me?” he said.
“I… I’ve… I’m about to get engaged,” I said.
“To Bellamy?” he asked.
“Of course to Bellamy.”
“That’s crazy,” he said.
“It is not! Do you think it’s crazy that someone would want to marry me? Bellamy doesn’t! You know, he’s a really great person. Straightforward. Easy to understand. Simple! I’m very lucky. And he thinks he’s lucky to have me, too,” I said.
“What?” said Pete. Again with that look like I was nuts. Why couldn’t I shut up?
“Excuse me, please,” I said, and went into the ladies’ room.
“Emma…” said Pete. The door softly thudded closed and I exhaled, as the tears began rolling down my cheeks. To my shock, he followed right behind me.
“What are you doing? Get out of here,” I said.
“No,” he said.
“Yes. Please go,” I said.
“No,” he said again, locking eyes with me. The eye contact was too much. I looked down and he took a step forward, reaching for me. I couldn’t handle a sympathetic, platonic hug, and I squirmed away, afraid he was going to patronizingly pat me on the back. Instead he grabbed me and pulled me up against him and kissed me. It was forceful. Aggressive. I was too dumbfounded to even decide whether I liked it. He pulled away a bit, giving me a moment to process what was happening. His arms were still around me as he looked into my eyes, not saying a word. His expression verged on an intensity that almost felt angry. He kissed me again. This time I kissed him back, pulling him as close to me as our clothing would allow. And then he pushed me against the sinks and before I knew what was happening, our clothes were coming off and we were having crazy steakhouse sex. We broke the sink right off the wall. The timing couldn’t have been worse. My parents had just agreed to accept Bellamy Timberfrost as their future son-in-law.
Chapter 36
About six months later…
You’d think it would have been really difficult to give back all that jewelry, but actually it wasn’t that tough. Even the whole debacle that ensued once the show aired and designers began noticing I was wearing their clothes, many of them one-of-a-kind originals, got resolved quite neatly. Maggie the dress thief stepped in with a doctor’s excuse saying she’d suffered from a brief psychotic episode when she took them, and promised I’d had no idea they were stolen. Really, she was such a champ about it, and the designers all collectively agreed that if I returned everything, all would be forgiven and they wouldn’t press charges against either one of us. Except for one adorable tulip covered Anabella Marin scarf that never made it on air, I gave back everything.
What is hard is all the meanness that comes with being half of ‘The Sleaziest Couple in America.’ It took a while for things to really snowball out of control. At first there was the calm before the storm, as my horribleness was kept on the downlow before the show aired. I actually thought it was all blowing over and that I had dodged the worst of it. Hurting my parents and Bellamy was bad enough, but just when I started to feel better, having realized that despite the harm I’d caused, I had Pete, which was everything I really wanted, the show debuted. And then it all started over from scratch.
Pete had broken up with Krissie the morning of the steakhouse incident and had only been attending her work party to be polite. We’ve been together non-stop since that night. With me, he has watched every episode of the show, despite the helpful advice I received from many people advising me not to watch it at all.
I’ve looked like such an idiotic bitch. I don’t know why I put myself through the weekly humiliation, but I think it’s only natural to need to see how it all plays out. Those contestants from past seasons who say they never watched themselves are probably lying.
First of all, the producers and editors found what seemed like a hundred examples of me wearing the wrong shoes with my outfits and they drew gobs of attention to it each time it happened. As someone who fancies herself to be pretty fashionable, that really hurt.
Far worse, however, is that they made me look like a complete psycho. Lots of talking to myself, lots of crying, tons of shots of me without makeup just to be mean. Shortly into the season, news leaked about me and ‘Mr. Infomercial,’ so the producers decided to incorporate this into the show. They made little skits of my self-talk, and spliced the skits into regular scenes. They would cut from a moment of Bellamy and me on a date, back to a shot of me in the bathroom getting ready for the date, talking to myself as I put on my eye shadow. “Okay, Emma, you need to follow your heart,” I’d be saying, and the
y would make it repeat about five times with Pete’s infomercial face popping up after each sentence and old-school rap music side effects. Then it would snap back to the date with Bellamy, zooming in during a poignant moment of him looking especially puppy-doggish.
Another rotten little trick they pulled was to show me doing something that could be construed as mean or bitchy, and then splice in a little clip of me saying, “That was strangely satisfying.” Apparently I said this one night after I tore the unraveling hem off my dress. I don’t even remember saying it, but it happened and they really took advantage of it. It’s like a big joke now. Strangers see me on the street and yell, “That was strangely satisfying!” I’ll never live it down.
I suppose if it hadn’t been about me, I might have thought it was all funny and clever, and even somewhat deserved. But what the producers failed to show is that I did care about Bellamy. Despite how things ended up, hurting him is my biggest regret, and they made it seem like I thought his feelings meant nothing. It’s this manipulation of the truth that I hate them for most.
Alanna, as predicted, came out of it looking like Miss Perfect. She’s pretty much the most loved B-list celebrity in all of America right now. Vanessa too looked adorable and perfect, though the world has already forgotten about her. Deb looked like a goofy hayseed. Vanessa, Deb, and the rest of the contestants ended up seeming like footnotes compared to me and Alanna. I swear, the show was like the Emma and Bellamy show, with large amounts of Alanna thrown in during the second half of the season. Despite the actual small amount of time Bellamy and I spent together early on, they made it seem like it was all about the two of us. They captured every little smile, every glance. Any straw they could grasp at, they grasped at.
And then they made the night of my Meet-the-Fam date into a two episode event. The part where Bellamy asked for my parents’ permission, which couldn’t have lasted more than ten minutes, became a forty minute commercial-free musical montage. They threw in tons of clips of him as a child, including a snippet of an old home movie where he says “I want to be a daddy when I grow up.” It was so pathetically sad that I still cry when I picture it. Worst of all, it totally ruined my happy memories of the sex I was having with Pete at that same moment.
Once the truth about Pete and me was out, paparazzi stalked us relentlessly. It’s not as great as it sounds, mainly because we were seen as scumbags instead of beloved celebrities. Headlines like Infomercial King Bangs Finalist While Bellamy Prepares to Propose were everywhere, and unlike most tabloid headlines, this one was true.
I couldn’t go the grocery store for months without being confronted by tabloids showing Pete and myself, looking our absolute worst, often never having realized at the time we were being photographed that anyone was even watching us. It was so creepy to realize we’d been followed and stalked. Even Pete, who is used to being recognized, was overwhelmed and traumatized by it all.
Speaking of Pete, he’s wonderful. Despite all the chaos and hurt I caused, choosing him (or should I say, him choosing me) has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Being with him makes up for all the pain I caused myself, Bellamy, my parents, and everyone else involved.
And speaking of Bellamy, well, he ended up choosing Alanna. Long before the show ever aired, I heard from runner-up Vanessa that this was how it turned out. Christine, the producer who I talked to at the start of everything, personally called me a couple of weeks after the steakhouse incident and said, “I’m not going to tell you who Bellamy chose, but I want you to know that whether or not you did what you did, he was never really going to choose you. I just want you to know that.” Talk about sour grapes! Anyhow, he and Alanna are engaged and still together. In fact they’re going to be guests on some late night talk show this evening and Pete and I aren’t above watching it. I doubt if they’ll ever actually get married. From what I’ve heard through the grapevine, Alanna is lobbying to get her own reality workout/singing competition show. If she does I really hope I have the willpower to never watch it.