“What’s up?” He began rubbing my feet. I moved them out of reach.
“I was wondering if you would mind if I stayed a couple extra days here. Alone. You could have a little time in Savannah with your sister, and I could have a little time to myself. I really, really need it.”
“Sure. I’ll ask Alexa to make sure she doesn’t mind. When do you want me to move your return flight to?”
“How about Monday the third?” I asked, shocked at how easy Adrian was making it for me.
“Consider it done,” he said.
“Thank you.” I got up and gave him a hug. I looked into his eyes.
“Why do you look so sad?” he asked.
I shook my head. “Thank you for helping my parents.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay,” I said, touching his face, feeling sick and disloyal and ashamed of myself.
“I’m glad that we’re in a position where it’s so easy to help them. It’s just money. Anyway, the insurance company will reimburse us at some point.”
“Everything could have been a lot different for you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Everything. Your whole life. Who knows what you would be like, or where you would have ended up.”
“What are you saying?”
“I mean, that night, Adrian. If that night hadn’t happened, or if you had not been with, your life would be better, too.”
“Play the hand you’re dealt,” he said with a big, mopey shrug. It was a very Sam-my-ex-boyfriend-moment. This sealed my emotions right back closed. The only worse response would have been “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.” I pulled my hand away from his face.
“Did I say the wrong thing?” he asked.
“Will you be honest with me about something?” I asked.
“I’m always honest,” he said.
“Adrian! That’s a lie.”
“I will answer your question honestly, I swear.”
I drew in my breath. There was no correct answer. It was the Salem Witch Trials all over again. If he floated, he was guilty; if he drowned he was innocent. They wiser thing would have been to have left it alone. It would have been better for both of us. We should be going out to a movie as he had suggested, and all of this should be left alone. Forever.
If only I could.
“That night is the only reason we’re together. I mean, of course it is. Right, Adrian?”
He looked at me and his face had a strange expression I did not know. He did not answer.
“We would never have gotten together if that hadn’t happened. Right? …Say something.”
His eyes lost their emotion and became very cold. Soulless eyes I did not know or like. I wondered if he was covering his feelings, or finally revealing them to me. I sensed that he was finally going to tell me the truth.
“No. I mean, it’s possible, anything’s possible, but probably not.”
“Wow. I wasn’t expecting that,” I said.