A Little Something Extra

“Oh, dude, no,?

? Josh McInnes groaned as he climbed onto the platform. “This is not the time to invoke Clinton.”

“And another thing,” Betty shouted with glee, still holding her mic. “His first name is Shirley.” There was a gasp, followed by smothered sniggers. “That’s right,” Betty said. “His full name is Shirley Thomas Morrison,” she paused, “the second!” And then she burst into a witch’s cackle.

“Give me that.” Lake pried the mic from her hands. “Sorry Rev,” he said before switching it off and tossing it to Josh.

“Okay, everybody, calm down,” Josh said, flashing that famous smile of his that seemed to turn smart women into fools. “We all know that the Rev hasn’t had sex with Betty.”

“Yes.” Caroline took the mic out of the Reverend’s hands and led him back to the chair of doom, while he kept his scowling eyes on Betty. “Because he’s a man of the cloth and they don’t do that.”

“Or,” Josh said, “because he has enough sense to keep away from Gollum over there.” He grinned at the crowd. “See what I did there? Lake calls her his Hobbit, but really, she’s the corrupted version of those lovable shire creatures. Evil has turned her into Gollum. Smart, eh?”

There were groans. Caroline shook her head and stepped in front of her husband. “Josh is now going to stop talking, and start singing.”

There was a cheer. Morrison suspected it was more for Josh shutting up than for his singing. He looked at the American. “If this is ‘White Christmas,’ I will make it my duty to pray daily that you lose your voice mid-concert.”

Josh just grinned as the music started and he launched into a rendition of ‘Hit the Road Jack.’ Smart arse. Although, it did bring a smile to his face when they got to the part about the meanest old woman he’d ever seen, and the church sang it to Betty. It would have been perfect if she hadn’t taken a bow and cackled as though they were giving her adulation. Oh, but he couldn’t wait to get away from that woman.

There was loud applause when Josh finished singing. Morrison signaled to one of the kids to bring him his cane. He was getting out of there before he got trapped during lunch and led down the long road of reminiscing.

“Oh, we’re not finished yet,” Caroline said, making him groan as he sat back in his chair. “The children have prepared one last special song for you.”

As they rushed onto the stage and the first bars of music played, Reverend Morrison knew that this was God’s retribution for being the world’s most surly minister. Because the children were singing, ‘So Long, Farewell,’ from The Sound of Music.

Betty Wants Grandkids

This story happens between Relentless and Rage, after Caught in the Invertary books.

Betty McLeod pushed open the door to the Eye Spy security shop and stomped inside.

“Outta ma way!” She swung her handbag at Lake Benson’s newest recruit, hitting him in the stomach.

“Oof.” The wimp rubbed his belly and glared down at her.

Betty just smirked at him. It would be a cold day in hell before she was intimidated by an oversized pup. Lake was hiring his security team members younger and younger these days. This one used to be a cop. Betty narrowed her eyes at him. She couldn’t see it. He barely looked old enough to shave.

She stalked to her La-Z-Boy and plopped into it. Wiggling until she got her bum in just the right dent to make it comfortable.

“You want to stop hitting my team?” Lake said from behind the counter.

“No.” Betty scowled at the man she considered her son. “They’re in the way. Can’t you send them out on a job? Somewhere dangerous.”

Lake’s lip twitched, which for him was equivalent to showing full-blown hysteria. Now he didn’t look like a boy. He looked like a proper man, capable of taking care of any situation he came across. There was a touch of gray coming in around the temple area of his blond hair, but apart from that, he looked just as fierce and handsome as when she’d first met him. Some people found the ex-SAS specialist intimidating. Not Betty. She considered Lake to be her equal—someone brave enough to stand up to her. Not that he ever won, mind you.

“Get me a cup of tea, princess,” she ordered the newbie.

Max’s jaw clenched as he stared at Lake. “I swear, one of these days, I will kill her and bury the body where no one can find it.”

“Get in line,” Lake said with a snort.

“Am I getting my tea?” Betty snapped. “I’m not getting any younger here.”

“Astrid,” Lake called into the back room, “bring Satan a cup of tea. Double the arsenic this time.”

There was a giggle. Astrid was another spineless addition to Benson Security. “When are you going to hire some grown-ups?” Betty said. “Our team is meant to be scary. This lot couldn’t intimidate a flea. I mean, look at him.” She pointed at the new guy, Max. “Get. A. Haircut.”

“Lake…” The man-child clenched and unclenched his fists, making Betty cackle.