A Little Something Extra

Jodie rolled her eyes. “Get on with it. Some of us have better things to do with our time than pander to your ego.”

“All of us,” Josh amended. “Not some. It’s definitely all of us.”

“Number Four,” Betty said loudly, but Lake was reading over her shoulder and put out a hand to stop her.

“Don’t even think about it. I will lock you up in chains before I give you a gun,” he said.

She frowned at him but moved on. “Number five.” Her smile put the fear of God into half the room. “I want to see Grunt’s willy piercing.”

When there was no outraged protest, it became clear that Grunt and his wife, Claire, were not at the meeting.

“Consider it done,” Dougal lied merrily. He’d deal with the fallout later, because there was no way the mountain-sized American would let Betty near his privates.

“I’m holding you to that.” She narrowed her eyes at him.

“Get on with it,” he told her. “How many more items are on your list?”

“Hold yer horses,” she said. “I’m getting there.” She took a slow, deep breath as her eyes glinted in his direction. “Number six,” she said at last. “I want the first of July to be a public holiday in my name—Betty Day.”

“We can’t declare a national holiday,” Dougal said as he felt a headache start.

“I can live with it just being in Invertary,” the evil woman said.

Dougal glanced at his fellow council members, who shrugged. It seemed nobody could see a catch in her demand, other than a day with her name on it.

“Done,” Dougal said.

“And I want a parade on Betty Day.”

Again, the council nodded. “Done.”

“And a float filled with Chippendale dancers.”

“She’s determined to make a mockery of this town,” Morag shouted.

Again. Not wrong.

“No Chippendales. No property sales,” Betty said, then grinned. “That rhymes.”

“Who are the Chippendales?” Caroline asked.

“Male strippers, baby,” Josh said, making his wife blush. “You don’t need to see that.”

“Scared of a little competition?” Betty said. “Worried your wife will see what a dud she married?”

Before Dougal or Josh could answer, Lake put a hand on Betty’s shoulder. “Enough,” was all he said.

Betty rolled her eyes at him. “If you weren’t the son of my heart, I’d seriously consider poisoning you. You get in the way of all my fun.” She turned back to Dougal. “Am I getting my Chippendales or no’?”

He heaved a sigh. “You can have your stripper float.”

Betty whooped. “Number seven,” she read from her paper. “I want each of the Domino Boys to take me out for a fancy dinner in Fort William. Not together. I want a date with each of them.”

“I’m married!” James shouted in protest.

“She can have you,” his wife shouted back.

“Who’s paying for these dinners?” Archie demanded. “I’m on a pension.”