Mairi nodded.
“How does he know your address? I thought the agency you work with said those details would never get out. I thought all those guys were supposed to stay firmly online.”
“Yeah.” There was nothing else to say.
When she’d been a little girl, Mairi hadn’t dreamed of growing up to become a fake online girlfriend to a bunch of socially inept men. Nope, she’d dreamed of castles and princess gowns and white knights. She nearly burst out laughing at the thought. It was so far from the truth it was almost hysterical. In all of Mairi’s childhood dreams, she’d been the knight. And she hadn’t been concerned with saving any foppish princes, either. No, Mairi had wanted to travel the world, seeking adventure and fighting dragons. Instead, she was stuck in Arness, sharing a tiny flat with her grumpy-arsed sister and dealing with an unwelcome Captain Kirk wannabe. This was not the happy ending she’d hoped for.
“Why is your online boyfriend here?” Agnes demanded, jarring Mairi out of her maudlin thoughts. “How did he get your address?”
“I don’t know.” And she didn’t like it. There was a reason this job was perfect for her: it meant she got to keep men at arm’s length. No chance of getting in too deep. No chance of falling in love and getting her heart broken by trusting the wrong man again.
“Well, ask him!” Agnes did that toe-tapping thing that Mairi hated, which was even more intimidating when she was dressed in her power suit.
With a scowl at her sister, Mairi turned and opened the door, to find a beaming Amir, exactly where she’d left him.
“Amir, how did you get my address?” And why the hell did you fly all the way from Pakistan to visit me? Didn’t he realize their relationship was fake? He paid her weekly—that should have been a giant clue.
He looked slightly confused for a second, before the smile appeared again. “This is a test, beautiful Mairi. I can answer this most easy of questions. You yourself posted the address on your website page. Now, I have something of the utmost importance to ask you.” He rooted around in his trouser pocket.
“Just a minute.” Mairi shut the door and looked at her sister. “He says I put the address on my page.”
Agnes pointed at the laptop sitting on their tiny dining table, and Mairi headed toward it. A few keystrokes later, and she was looking at a notice she had definitely
not posted.
I’m tired of being single. As much as I’ve enjoyed being a girlfriend to all of you, I now want more. I want marriage and a family. I want my own happily ever after. The only problem is that I’ve managed to fall a little bit in love with all of my wonderful boyfriends. So, I’m giving you a challenge—a quest. Whoever gets to Arness, Scotland, first and wins my heart in person will win my hand in marriage. So, scale the walls of my castle, woo me with your knightly skills, and save this fair maiden from a life of loneliness and heartache. May the best man win!
It was followed by her street address, and a link to a Facebook page called Mairi’s Wedding Challenge, where supposedly she was going to give updates as things progressed. The message ended with a Photoshopped image of her as Rapunzel, leaning out of a tower and gazing wistfully into the distance, presumably for her prince.
“I’m going to vomit.” Mairi bent over and put her head between her knees.
“Get up.” Agnes smacked the back of her head. “Get on that site and delete the post. Write something that tells all those sad sacks you talk to that this is a mistake.”
There was a sharp rap at the door. “Mairi, my love?” Amir called.
Mairi swallowed hard and brought up the login page for the Girlfriend site. She typed furiously. Three times. And then panicked. “I’m locked out. I’m emailing the owner.” She opened her emails and typed. The answer was instantaneous. “Oh no.” Mairi moaned.
“What?” Agnes peered over her shoulder.
“They’ve been hacked.” Mairi resisted the urge to thump her head on the table. It wouldn’t help anyway. “They’re locked out of their own site and can’t change the message either.”
“Mairi, my little Scottish flower, open the door. I have something important to ask you.” Amir’s voice floated into the room.
“You need to deal with that.” Agnes pointed at the door. “Now.”
“Fine.” Dragging her feet, Mairi went to their front door and opened it.
No Amir. A throat cleared. She looked down. He was on one knee, holding out a ring box.
“Mairi, my love,” he said solemnly, “I must be asking you the most serious of questions. I wish for you to be my wife. Together we will explore strange new worlds and seek out new life and new civilizations. I wish to boldly go where no man has gone before. I wish to be your husband.”
Mairi shut the door and leaned back against it.
“This isn’t good,” she said to her sister.
“You think?” Agnes glared at her.
“Mairi,” Amir called, “is that a yes?”