Can't Tie Me Down! (Sinclair Sisters 1) - Page 3

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“Heads up, there’s a Wookiee coming this way.”

Keir jerked up at his fellow mechanic’s words and hit his head on the underside of the car hood. “What the hell are you talking about now?” he asked his fifty-two-year-old second-career apprentice.

Hamish pointed, and Keir looked through the open garage doors. Sure enough, there was a guy in a huge hairy costume, sauntering across what passed for the main street in Arness. Keir stepped back from the car, grabbed a rag and wiped the oil off his hands.

“Can I help you with something?” he asked the Wookiee.

“Argharghah!” the Wookiee said.

There was a split second where Keir wondered if he’d inhaled too many petrol fumes and this was the result. Then a short guy wearing jeans, and a t-shirt that said, Physicists Do It at the Speed of Light, ran across the road to join the Wookiee.

“Ignore him,” the short guy said. “He likes to think he’s being authentic. He won’t talk anything but Wookiee while he’s in his Chewbacca costume. He’s a Star Wars purist.”

The big, furry guy opened his mouth and warbled.

“No.” The little guy frowned, “I’m not going to translate for you. Every man for himself.” He turned back to Keir. “We’re looking for Mairi Sinclair. The woman in the shop told us she lives over here, in the apartment upstairs. Do we get there through the garage, or is there another entrance?”

Keir put down the rag, folded his arms over his black tank, making sure they noted his muscles and tattoos, and stepped into their space.

“What do you want with Mairi?” The Wookiee opened his mouth to answer, and Keir held up a hand. “In English.”

“She’s going to be my wife,” the little guy said with pride. The Wookiee roared with what was clearly a protest. The other guy scowled up at him. “How are you going to propose? She doesn’t speak Wookiee. You shot yourself in the foot wearing that costume. It’s not my fault I’m going to win.”

Keir uncrossed his arms and pressed his fingers to his temples. “Win? What the hell are you two talking about?”

The smaller guy dug into his pocket and came out with a phone. He flicked at the screen before turning it to Keir. He found himself looking at a website called Girlfriends for Hire. And there was a photo of Mairi, smiling out at him from a fake medieval tower and telling him that she specialized in online relationships with geeks. Geeks? Keir shook his head and kept reading. Under her photo was an updated message to her “men.” One that obviously hadn’t been written by Mairi. For a start, it said she wanted to get married. If this was the real deal, he’d eat an oily rag and wash it down with antifreeze.

“Mairi wants a husband,” the little guy said. “She challenged her online boyfriends to woo her.” He looked up at the Wookiee. “Do people still say woo?”

The Wookiee shook his head and made some noise.

“Wait a minute,” Keir said, as the words sank in. “Why the hell would you want a girlfriend who only exists online?”

“Hiring an online girlfriend is a sensible alternative to being alone forever.” The little guy sounded like he actually believed what he was saying. “Most of us work in male-dominated industries, like tech or research. Or we live in isolated areas. We don’t have a lot of time to meet women, and most of us don’t have a clue what to do with them when we do. That’s how we ended up on the Girlfriend site. For a small weekly fee, you get to interact with a woman who helps you learn how to, well, interact with women. It gives you confidence. Practice. That sort of thing. It’s all aboveboard. Strictly no nudity.” He looked so disappointed about the lack of nudity that Keir almost laughed.

The Wookiee started gesturing and making Wookiee noises.

“Yeah,” the little guy said, “and it means we can get people off our backs about relationships. My parents totally stopped setting me up with random women once they’d Skyped with Mairi.”

Keir stared at the two of them for a minute, letting the explanation sink in. A campervan rolled past the garage and came to a stop outside the village shop. Two more guys got out. One wore jeans, and a black t-shirt, and looked normal; the other wore a short-sleeved checked shirt, with a clashing tie. There were pens in his shirt pocket. It didn’t take a PhD in logic to figure out Keir was looking at yet another “boyfriend.”

“How many of you are there?” Keir asked.

The short guy checked with the Wookiee. “About thirty, we think. Mairi capped the number because she wanted to spend quality time with each of us.”

More likely, she capped the number because that was the most her fluffy little brain could cope with. “And you all know each other?”

They nodded in unison, before the little guy said, “She specializes in geeks. And being geeks, we formed an online forum to talk about her. Kind of like a boyfriend support group, or a Mairi fan club.”

“You don’t care that she’s fake-dating all of you?” Keir said.

“We’re smart guys. We knew it was a business deal. And then she changed everything with her declaration. Now, the boyfriends are at war, and the forum has been disbanded until one of us wins her heart for real.”

“You’re serious. This isn’t some kind of nerdy cosplay event? You really want to marry Mairi?” Keir glanced around, wondering if someone was going to jump out and shout “punk’d” at him.

“Dude, have you seen Mairi? Sh

Tags: Janet Elizabeth Henderson Sinclair Sisters Romance
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