“Sorry again,” she said. “I didn’t mean to step on you. I really hope your fingers are okay. Do you want me to get some ice?”
“No.” Amir sounded strained. “I am fine. Thank you.”
“I really am sorry.” Donna flushed red and shut the door. “I think I broke his fingers.” She bit her bottom lip. “Should I call an ambulance or something?”
“You dingbat,” Agnes said, with a shake of her head.
“Don’t worry about Amir,” Mairi said. “He works in medical research. I’m sure he knows what to do about broken fingers.”
“Okaaaay.” Donna didn’t look so sure. “I got your text. What’s the emergency?”
Mairi glared at Agnes. “You sent out the Bat-Signal for Donna?”
Agnes rolled her eyes. “Like I’m going to leave you alone with that.” She pointed at the door. “Somebody needs to babysit your backside and make sure you don’t do something dumb. Or make a run for it.”
“Is anybody going to tell me what’s going on?” Donna asked as the music from Psycho suddenly blasted from her handbag.
“You want to answer that first?” Agnes said.
“Nope.” Donna shook her head. “It’s the ‘Lord of the Manor’. He can do without me for an hour. I swear there are days when I feel more like his slave than his housekeeper. I’ve had enough of his bad attitude for today. His calls can go unanswered. I’m taking a stand against tyranny.”
“By hiding?” Agnes cast a skeptical glance at Mairi as Donna deflated.
“Yeah.” Donna slumped onto the other end of the sofa. “Who’s Amir, anyway? Why is he sitting outside your door? And why is the street full of men wearing Fozzie Bear costumes?”
“That’s a Wookiee costume. Not a Muppet.” Mairi sighed. Didn’t her sisters know anything?
“Yeah,” Agnes said drolly. “Let’s focus on getting the costumes right.” She turned to Donna. “The men are here for Mairi. She gets to pick one and live happily ever after.”
“They’re my fake boyfriends,” Mairi corrected.
“But they want to be her husband,” Agnes added.
“The fake boyfriends are here? In real life?” Donna’s eyes grew even wider. “Wait a minute? Did you say husband?”
“Aye,” Agnes said with a grin. “Mairi’s getting married.”
“Am not!” Mairi shouted.
“Are too!” Amir shouted through the door.
Mairi groaned, Agnes started to laugh, and Donna just looked confused—as Psycho music once again filled the room.
Chapter 3
By early evening, it became apparent that the men weren’t going anywhere. There were half a dozen motorhomes parked behind the village shop, and the grass expanse between the main street and the cliff edge had been turned into a campground. All day long, Mairi’s online boyfriends had been turning up, in the hope of marrying her. She supposed she should have been flattered, but mainly she felt cornered.
Thumping at the front door dragged her attention from the window overlooking Arness’ nameless main street.
“Open up,” Agnes shouted. “My hands are full.”
Mairi put the bowl of popcorn she’d been eating down beside the armchair, which she’d dragged over to face the window, and went to open the door. She was confronted by several bouquets of flowers, with legs.
“Agnes?”
A vase was thrust at her. “Don’t just stand there. Take some of thi
s.”