“No can do.” He opened another button. “I can’t sleep in my jeans. That kind of constraint could seriously damage my chances of becoming a father. But you can always sleep on the couch if you think sharing a room with me is too much temptation.”
“Temptation? To do what? Smother you while you sleep? Aye, that’s a serious temptation.” She forced a laugh, but it sounded strangled.
“Well.” Keir ran his hand over his six-pack, and down to the last button on his well-worn Levi’s. “In that case, there’s no need for me to sleep in my jeans.” He kept his fingers on the button as he toed off his sneakers.
Mairi’s eyes were riveted to his hands. It felt like the room was holding its breath.
Keir popped the button, hooked his thumbs into the waist of his jeans and pushed them over his hips. He almost groaned when Mairi pulled her bottom lip into her mouth to nibble at it. Her cheeks had to be burning by now, and her eyes were dark. He kicked the jeans off and snatched them from the floor. It was a dumb move, because all it did was break his spell over Mairi.
She cleared her throat and turned from him. “Make sure you stay on your side of the room, and don’t talk to me.” She grabbed something out of the chest of drawers and stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.
Keir let out a gush of air and ran his fingers through his hair. That was the strongest reaction he’d had from Mairi in years, and it filled him with hope. Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance they could get past their history and find a future together. Because this was it—this was his last stand. If he couldn’t get Mairi to give him a second chance, it was pointless hanging around in Arness. She was the reason he’d bought the garage; she was the reason he hung out there waiting for a glimpse of her, like a puppy waiting for its master to come home. He was pathetic, and he knew it. He would have known it even if his brother and cousins didn’t remind him every time they saw him.
He sat on the bed and felt it sag in the middle. There were two piles of books on the nightstand between the beds. One was full of hotel management texts, the other had three old travel guides—South America, Asia and Africa. They were dog-eared and filled with markers. On the wall above Mairi’s bed was a map of the world. She’d pinned all the places she wanted to visit. Keir’s heart hurt at the sight. They’d talked about travelling together, before he’d screwed everything up. Instead of backpacking around Europe, he’d gone to jail, and Mairi hadn’t left Scotland.
He rubbed his chest and lay back on the bed. There were damp stains on the ceiling. Something else he had to fix. He did what he could to keep the property up, but Mairi wouldn’t let him in the apartment half the time, and the other half he didn’t know what needed doing. He should have been more diligent. He should have turned her house into a palace. Maybe then she would have realized he still loved her. He’d never stopped loving her. She was it for him. If he had to give up on her, if he had to move on, he’d just be settling for whomever he married. And wasn’t that pathetic for him and his wife? But what choice did he have? If Mairi wouldn’t forgive him, he had to let go. No matter how much it ripped him apart to do so.
The bathroom door opened, and Keir’s heart seized up. Mairi glared at him before stomping over to the dresser to dump her clothes on top. She’d changed into a pair of black boy shorts and a black vest with the word Death written in white across her chest. Her hair was in a messy knot on top of her head, and she wasn’t happy.
“I’m going to sleep.” She stomped to the light switch. “If you snore, I will kill you.” She flicked the light off.
The curtains were thin and the street lights shone through them, filling the room with a dull glow. Keir watched Mairi climb into bed and turn her back to him. Neither one of them relaxed. He didn’t know if it was possible.
The silence stretched out heavily between them, and Keir bit back all the things he wanted to say. He knew it was too late for explanations, for excuses. Mairi wouldn’t listen, even if he managed to get the words out.
“You ever going to forgive me?” Yeah, it was a dumb thing to ask, but he was feeling desperate and hopeless. This was the longest he’d spent with Mairi since things had gone belly up.
“Probably not, no.”
“If I could do it over, I would never have left you that night.” He didn’t know how many hours he’d wasted thinking about what he could have done, should have done. He’d been in a crappy position—stay with Mairi, and let his little brother go down for his stupid behavior; or look out for his brother and hurt Mairi. He’d chosen the former and paid for it ever since.
“Nobody gets a do-over. We have to live with the decisions we make, no matter how dumb they are.”
He didn’t need to be a genius to figure out she considered him one of her dumb decisions. “Up until I left, it was the best night of my life. You need to believe that. It was perfection.”
The silence stretched out, and Keir thought she’d given up talking to him. “I thought it was as well,” she said at last, making his heart clench. “Until you ran out on me. You didn’t even hesitate. Your phone went off, and you grabbed your jeans and ran. I was inexperienced and feeling a little insecure, and you ran. Can you imagine how that made me feel?”
“There were reasons—”
“I know, your mates needed you to help boost a car.” Sarcasm dripped from her words. “I don’t want to hear it. I’m over it. I don’t need explanations. I don’t want them. I don’t want to think about that night. Or you.”
Keir scrunched his eyes tight. What a bloody screw-up. There was no end to the fallout from his decision. One minute he’d been in heaven; making love to the woman who owned his heart, ensuring her first time was as special as it could be. The next, he was up before the judge, pleading guilty to stealing a car and recklessly driving it into a shop window. He’d refused to tell them who’d been in the car with him and had been given a year in prison for keeping his mouth shut.
Only, he hadn’t been in the car at all. He’d run out on Mairi when his brother had called him in a panic. His brother who was looking at serious jail time if he reoffended. His brother whom Keir always looked out for. So, he’d run to help, and he’d lied. To Mairi, to the police, to the judge. He’d told everyone he’d been the one to steal the car and drive it through the window. It was his first offense and he thought he’d get off with a warning. He’d been wrong. And a year later, he’d gotten out of jail to find Mairi wanted nothing to do with him; he’d lost the most important thing in his life.
The thing he was fighting to get back—Mairi’s heart.
There was the hiss and screech of feedback from a speaker outside the window, and then a voice boomed out. “Mairi, my love, this one is for you.” Music started, and the guy began singing along to “When a Man Loves a Woman.”
Mairi groaned loudly and pulled her pillow over her head. “Oh crap, they’ve got a karaoke machine.”
As Keir listened to the lyrics of the badly sung song, he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry—because they were singing his song.
Chapter 5
Morning sun streamed through the cheap curtains covering Mairi’s bedroom window, and she opened her eyes to find Keir lying on the bed opposite, staring at her.
“Creepy much?” she grumbled.