Rage (Benson Security 3)

“How’s he doing?” Callum put a plastic bag on the end of the bed and glanced at the kid’s bed that had been set up in the corner for Sophie. He smiled when he saw she was cuddling the hippo he’d given her to keep the giraffe company.

“Good.” Isobel smoothed back Jack’s hair. It needed a cut. Something else to add to the list of things she had to do when they eventually got out of the hospital.

“I cleared everything up with the police,” he said. “They don’t plan on charging you with anything.”

Part of the tension coiled inside her released. “That’s great.”

He nodded. “They’re over the moon about the information we were able to give them on the ACAB Militia. They’re tracing money from that account in the Caymans and they’ve found several threads to follow from that dark web address. The militia site had been closed down, but there’s still enough to go on.”

There was an awkward silence as the two feet between them seemed to stretch to miles. Isobel badly wanted him to close the gap and hold her, to tell her things would be fine, in that convincing voice of his. At the same time, she knew she had to stand alone and figure things out for herself. She’d made so many mistakes, and she was terrified of rushing into yet another.

“I saw on the news that the police had foiled an attack on the Scottish Parliament,” she said.

“Aye, that’s what they were planning.” He looked around awkwardly. “That was your doing, Isobel. If you hadn’t been so nosy, they would never have found out about the planned militia attack. In fact, they would never have known who was behind it. That’s how the militia work. Someone else always takes the credit for their work. That’s what they’re being paid for.”

There was another uncomfortable silence. “I’m sorry about your granddad’s house,” she said at last.

“I was only hiding there. It’s time to rejoin civilisation.” His eyes captured hers. “What are you going to do?”

She looked up at him. So tall and strong and indestructible. “I don’t know.”

She still had the three thousand he’d gotten for her. It was enough to start again.

He cleared his throat. “I want you to come to London with me. The three of you.”

Isobel’s breath left her in a rush. Part of her wanted to run to him, screaming yes at the top of her lungs. She fought that part of her under control and made the sensible choice. The painful choice.

“I don’t think I can.”

His head jerked back slightly before his jaw clenched. “You want to tell me why? We have something between us. Something important. The kind of thing that only happens once, maybe twice, in a lifetime.”

“I don’t trust what I feel. I’ve made so many mistakes. Twice I thought I loved a man, and twice I was used and cast aside. I can’t keep risking myself or my kids.”

“And you think I’d use you and cast you aside?” The vein in his corner of his jaw throbbed harder.

“No, I don’t, but I don’t know if what I feel for you is real. We had an intense week together. But it was still only a week. Do you really want me in your life knowing that reality will be far different from what we experienced? Everyday life with two kids is boring and repetitive and stressful. You really want that?”

“Aye.” There was no hesitation.

Isobel blinked back tears. It seemed that all she did these days was cry. She couldn’t do it any longer. She had to be strong. For her kids. For herself.

“I can never repay you for what you’ve done for my family,” Isobel said, wanting to give him something. Wanting him to know how important he was to her, even if she couldn’t go any further along the road he wanted her to.

“I don’t want your thanks, or your repayment. You don’t owe me anything.” He took a step towards her. “I want you and the kids to live with me. I want a lifetime with you. I want to wake up in the morning and have you as the first thing I see. I want to teach Jack how to be a man and scare off every boy that dares sniff around Sophie. I want to be the man you lean on when you need it. I want a life with you.”

Isobel sniffed, feeling her throat close up. “I can’t. Not right now. I need time.”

He nodded, taking a step back again. “I love you, Isobel Sinclair. Take what time you need to figure out what I already know, that you love me too.” He strode towards the door. “Let me know if there’s a baby.”

And then he was gone.

Isobel sank back into the chair beside Jack’s bed and put her face in her hands. Silent sobs racked her until she felt like she was going to die. A soft hand settled on her shoulder, and she looked up to see her sisters. Each face filled with love and sympathy.

“Oh, Izzy,” Donna said. “What have you gone and done?”

“I sent him away.” Isobel threw herself into Agnes’ arms and felt her other sisters pat her back.

“Why on earth would you do that?” Agnes asked, but there was no censure in her voice, only sympathy.