Reckless (Benson Security 1)

There was no getting away from the fact that Callum was right. She’d been lucky. Her inexperienced team had been lucky. And relying on luck was no way to stay safe in the long run. She’d let her own arrogance blind her to the risks. She hadn’t really considered what would happen if things went badly. She hadn’t let herself believe for one second that she wouldn’t get the information Dimitri needed to find his sister. But that hadn’t been confidence rooted in skill, it had been arroga

nce. The truth was, she could easily have blown it for him. She could have set his search for Katrina back months. Which meant she would have been responsible for everything Katrina suffered in that time. Why hadn’t she seen that before now? The answer hit her hard as Joe’s words beat at her soul. A game. She’d treated the whole thing like a game where having fun was more important than staying safe. How foolish and arrogant she’d been. Shame covered her like an early morning frost, making the joy that had bloomed in her success become brittle and break.

Her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth, but there were words that had to be said. “I didn’t think…” No, that wasn’t right. She had thought. Just not enough, not about the right things. Selfish. Arrogant. Flippant. Those words were closer to the truth.

“The end doesn’t justify the means,” Callum said again. His even words didn’t come from anger this time, they came from pity.

“No.” Megan swallowed hard. “No, it doesn’t.” She felt young and stupid and painfully aware of being exposed. “I’ll pack up and head to Scotland. But will you think twice about the rest of the women? I was the one who led this revolt. It was my idea, my plan. I roped them in. Let them keep their jobs.” She felt tears bite at her eyes. Reckless. She’d been reckless. With her life. With Katrina’s. With Claire’s. She looked at Dimitri. She’d been reckless with his trust. A last blow that hurt most of all. And it was nothing less than she deserved.

Callum heaved a sigh. He folded his arms. “I need people on this team who respect each other. Who take things seriously, follow orders and work well together. I don’t think that applies to any of you.”

“I’ll go.” Rachel surprised them all. “Elle should stay. I am her direct manager. I’m responsible. I’m sure if I’d vetoed her involvement, she would have listened.” Having said her piece, she turned her back on all of them to stare out at the glittering lights of London.

Megan blinked back tears that would only humiliate her further.

“I appreciate the sentiment, Rach,” Elle said. “But you’re wrong. I would have gone behind your back and helped Megan.” She looked at Callum. “I’ll go too.”

Julia clutched her stomach, her face grey. “You are absolutely right. I am as much to blame as Megan. I helped plan this from the beginning. I suggested we call Hope and that we use Rachel’s family connections. May I stay in the flat over the weekend? I need time to sort out somewhere to live.”

Callum gave a terse nod.

“Damn it,” Joe said. “Callum…”

They stared at each other, silent communication passing between them. Callum shook his head slowly.

Joe let out an exasperated sigh. “We all stuffed up when we first started out in this business. We all got caught up in the adrenalin rush and did stupid things that put team members in danger. They did get results and they look like they understand what they did wrong.”

They stared at each other, while Ryan sat silently at the breakfast bar and Dimitri stared out at the city. Megan looked down at her phone. She couldn’t call Harry. She wouldn’t call Harry. This was her fault and she needed to take the consequences like an adult. She let out a tremulous breath. Being an adult sucked big time. She didn’t want to go back to Invertary. She didn’t want to go back to hairdressing, or nannying, or baking cakes. She wanted to be a private security specialist. She wanted it badly. And she’d blown it.

“I got a teammate shot first time I went out on an op,” Ryan said softly.

Everyone looked at him. Megan saw, for the first time, that underneath his boy wonder exterior was the hardened core of a warrior. She knew then why Lake had picked him for his team. Ryan’s lips were tight as he stared at Callum and Joe.

Joe nodded. “We’re at fault too. We didn’t let the women in on the planning. We assumed they didn’t have anything to contribute because they don’t have our training. It was dumb. They’re smart and skilled. It’s just not what we’re used to. We should have listened. If we had done, we might have come up with something that worked for everybody.”

“It doesn’t change things,” Callum said to both men. “None of it does.”

There was nothing else to say or do. She needed to get out of there. As she scrolled through her contacts looking for the taxi number her phone vibrated with a reminder that she had unread texts and stored voicemail messages. She opened the texts expecting to see Claire’s name and hoping for comfort from her sister. Instead she saw an unknown number. She opened the message without thinking and stopped dead as she read it.

Slowly, she looked up at the people in the room. Faces were stoic. Nothing was being said. The tension was fog thick.

“Um, Callum.” Megan flinched under his dark gaze, heavy with disappointment. “Remember that guy I shot in the backside in Scotland? The one trying to kidnap Claire for Rudi? Durand?” Of course he remembered. Stupid question. It was nerves talking. Or maybe shock. Who knew?

His shoulders tensed. He nodded once. Sharp.

Dimitri turned back from the window, his attention on her. Megan felt the weight of it, but strangely found it to be more reassuring than oppressive. She cleared her throat as she held up her phone.

“Yeah, well, Durand texted me.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

Megan, I know where you are and I’m coming for you.

The words were burned into Dimitri’s eyelids. He saw them each time he blinked. Elle had grabbed the phone, taken out the battery, removed the SIM card and plugged it into her laptop. Her fingers were flying over the keyboard, trying to reverse trace the message while they talked.

“Do you think he, like, literally knows where I am?” Megan asked as she came back in from the changing room beside the pool, a pile of clothes in her arms. “I mean, as in the address of this apartment.”

“I don’t think you need to worry,” Rachel said. “This building has excellent security. Nobody is getting in here.”