Reckless (Benson Security 1)

A thump at the door jerked her out of her thoughts. Her eyes shot open and she stared at her reflection. Dark circles under blue eyes. Pale skin, made more so by stress.

“Yeah?” she called, proud her voice betrayed none of her inner turmoil.

“We’re heading down. One minute.” She heard Ryan’s boots shuffle on the spot outside the door. “No one will blame you if you back out, Megan. No one will think badly of you.”

“I would,” she whispered to her image.

Right now, she could look herself in the eye. If she left Katrina with Durand, she wouldn’t be able to do that. Not ever again. She took a shaky breath and opened the door.

“You okay?” Ryan ran his knuckles over her cheek.

“Yeah.” She pushed her shoulders back. “I’m ready.”

His eyes softened. “Callum and I won’t let you out of our sight. We’ll have you covered constantly.”

“I know.” She also knew he couldn’t make any promises. They had no control over this situation. Durand had made sure they had no time to prepare. They were going in blind.

He gave her an admiring nod before turning. They headed through her bedroom and out into the sitting room. The mood was sombre. Megan looked at each of the faces in turn.

“It’s going to be fine,” she said. “Do I need to remind everyone that I can take care of myself?”

No one smiled at her joke.

“I wish you were going in armed.” Elle shuffled nervously on the spot. Her usual bright blue hair looked dull and sad. “Or at least wired for sound and GPS.”

They both knew the first thing Durand would do would be to check her for any sort of tech or weapon. She had to go in bare, with only herself to rely on.

And her team. She had to trust they’d get her out of whatever happened.

Rachel stepped forward. Her lips were pinched, her eyes dark. Arms folded over a beige Chanel pantsuit, she looked dressed for the boardroom—at five thirty in the morning. Megan shook her head at the sight.

“Say the word,” Rachel said. “I’ll get you on another plane and out of here. You don’t have to do this. We will come up with something else.” There was no doubting she was completely and utterly serious.

“I appreciate it, Rach, really, I do.” But she couldn’t accept.

Rachel nodded. “Think about it. You have a thirty minute drive. You can abort at any time.”

“You keep talking like that and I’ll think you care,” Megan told her. “It may even make me want to hug you.”

Rachel hurriedly took a step back.

Julia rushed up to Megan’s side and put her arms around her. She squeezed hard.

“This is all my fault,” her friend said. “I should have locked away the files on Dimitri’s sister, then Durand would never have known we were looking for her.”

Megan hugged Julia back, more for herself than her friend. In that moment, she really wished her twin was there. She always felt more confident when there were two of them. She’d wanted to send a text message to Claire, but thought better of it. The only thing she could think of to write were the words Captain Lawrence Oates said before he went for a suicidal walk in the Antarctic, in an attempt to save the rest of his expedition team: “I am just going outside, I may be some time.” She didn’t think Claire would appreciate the joke.

“It’s not your fault,” she told Julia again. “You couldn’t have known Durand would break into the office. If it wasn’t Katrina, he would have found something else to use against us. At least this way we know where Katrina is and we know how to get her back. That’s good, right?” She tried to give Julia a reassuring smile, but didn’t quite pull it off.

Julia’s eyes were filled with unshed tears, but she forced a smile. “We’ll be here when you get back.”

“Good. We’re seriously going to need a girls’ night after this is over.” Megan saw Callum shift in place and knew he was straining to leave.

No one said a word when Megan shrugged into Dimitri’s denim jacket instead of the coat Rachel had bought for her. She rolled up the too long sleeves, inhaling deeply to pull the scent into her lungs. She wished he was there with her. Dumb. If he was he’d just drive her crazy trying to keep her safe, when they both knew that wasn’t possible. Not in this situation.

“Ready?” Callum said.

“Yeah. Let’s go.” She gave one last smile to her teammates. No, her friends. As they headed out of the suite, she looked up at Callum. “I don’t think it’s fair that I don’t get to wear a tactical vest. The guys got to wear them when they went on their mission.”