He laughed and then grew serious, but Felicia was already going to him, her hands outstretched for his. He took her fingers and met her earnest gaze as she said, “What is it, sir? Surely not because I was late?”
“Why were you late?” he asked quietly.
“James took me first just around the square, but said, if we were in the park, he would let me have the reins for a straight go, and of course I simply had to take the driving reins, you see …”
In spite of his irritation, the duke laughed. “Of course you did.”
“We did go to the park, and it was glorious. His four are exquisite to look at and absolutely wondrous to drive. At any rate, on our way back …” She moved in closer to him and was looking up into his eyes. “We hit a great deal of traffic, and that slowed us.”
“You were unchaperoned,” he said gruffly.
“His tiger was with us the entire time,” she answered, now nearly in his arms.
“I don’t call that a proper chaperone,” he answered.
“You and I are always alone,” she answered, and now she pressed herself up against him.
His hand went to her waist in spite of his determination not to touch her, and he said hoarsely, “I am your guardian.”
“Ah, so you are,” she answered and moved her hands slowly up his chest.
It took everything he had to take her hands and set her apart. All he wanted to do was scoop her up, carry her to her bedroom, and ravage her. He was a cad, he told himself, but he just couldn’t drive such thoughts away.
“I repeat, I am your guardian,” he said. “Nothing more.”
* * *
Had he slapped her, he couldn’t have wounded her quite so thoroughly. She dropped her gaze from his.
Her heart quivered with pain. His words echoed in her brain, and she couldn’t hear anything else. All hopes were shattered. She had been a stupid fool to think he would ever love her.
Two words—nothing more. Those two words had ripped her apart.
She controlled her trembling lips and managed to say, “I am … tired. I think I will go up to my room.” She turned and made the supreme effort to walk, even though her knees wanted to crumble beneath her.
She took the stairs in ladylike style. She walked down the corridor, aware that he made no effort to stop her … to call her back … to tell her it wasn’t true.
She opened the door and went to her bed.
At this point, her world turned black, and she threw herself onto her pillows and sobbed as her heart burst. He had told her he was her guardian, nothing more. He had meant it.
All dreams were exploded and shattered, and Felicia’s body was racked with her heartache.
~ Twenty-Nine ~
DINNER THAT EVENING proved to be a sorry affair. Both Becky and Scott were present, and although Felicia put on her brightest happy face, she was in a world of contradictions. She was pleased that the duke was not present but at the same time disappointed that he was not.
She couldn’t change how she felt. She would love him forever. If he didn’t want her, and it appeared that he did not, she would have to keep up her chin and push on. There was nothing else for it.
She smiled at all the appropriate moments. She laughed when she knew she should. She spoke when addressed and in hearty enough accents to hide her shattered emotions. Even so, she caught Becky eyeing her thoughtfully and knew that Becky was aware something was wrong.
Idly, more casually than she thought she could manage, she asked Daffy where her brother had gone off to.
Daffy waved this off and said, “I met him as he left the house in the afternoon, and he was in the devil of a temper.” She eyed Felicia and added, “Said he would not be joining us for dinner and that was all he said.”
Felicia bit her lip and said nothing to this. Becky touched Felicia’s knee beneath the tablecloth and whispered, “Some of the time, especially when things appear unsurmountable, it only needs the turning of a corner for things to change.”
Felicia almost burst into tears and shook her head as she tried to respond and found she could not. Instead, she played with her food, pushing it from one side of the plate to the other.