She controlled the retort that formed in her mouth. He loved her and wanted her established respectably. She could not fault him, for she had been reluctant to choose a suitor. She knew this point had been a sore one with him. However, although she liked any number of men that had come calling, she had not fallen in love. She had begun to think something was wrong with her. Her married friends wanted to know if she was not moved to want a man to make love to her, and here was the trouble: she had not been so moved. Was she cold-blooded? Oh, she hoped not. How dreadful it would be to turn into a frosty spinster.
She decided to abruptly change the subject and asked, “Did you know that Farmer Cribbets has just brought in a new bull?”
This caught the squire’s interest, as he had always been involved with his tenant farmers and enjoyed their news. “Did he, by God? Cribbets has never been a fool. Good head on his shoulders. He has a face like a mule and a pair of cat sticks for legs, but a damned clever fellow. How much did he pay for the bull, do you know?”
“No,” she answered, smiling, pleased to see him on another subject. “But I have heard that he got the bull at a steal. Perhaps if you are feeling up to it tomorrow, we might drive over there and have a look at this new bull?”
“Aye.” Her uncle nodded vigorously, but then his eyes narrowed.
She could see that although he was aware she had changed the subject, he was allowing it to pass, and she breathed a sigh of relief. She dropped a kiss on his forehead and said, “I’ll leave you to rest.”
He clutched her hand and eyed her sharply. “Serena, I want you safe before I die.”
“And I don’t want you to die. Perhaps you will do what the doctor wishes and make yourself well again, if only to live to see me married off,” she teased.
* * *
He watched her go and thought, Stubborn wench. He then immediately thought of her mother with an ache that was as sharp now as it had ever been.
Serena’s mother had the same dark, winged brows and the same nearly black eyes, and her hair had been like Serena’s honey-gold. He had fallen in love with her the moment he saw her, but she had already been in love with his older brother.
Jack had not deserved her. He had gambled away their family fortune, and they had nearly lost the Grange.
He had in the end been unable to face what he had done and had put a bullet through his own head. The squire had managed to cover up his brother’s suicide—called it a hunting accident—for Serena and her mother’s sake.
Serena’s mother had gone into a decline from which she had never recovered. A year later, thin and unwell, she was taken by what the doctor called consumption.
The squire had worked hard with what he was left and had been savvy enough to bring the Grange back to its full glory. He had made some investments with his own trust fund, one that Jack had not been able to dip into, and they had paid off nicely.
Serena, even if she did not marry, would never want for a thing, but he did not wish to see her lonely … no, not like he had been because he had not married.
~ Three ~
THE NEW FOREST was lovely in the fall. Shimmering leaves with variegated color still hung in the trees, just on the verge of dropping to earth.
The breeze was crisp without being too cold, and Serena took in a long gulp of the fresh air. This was her favorite riding season. She had not gotten very far, however, when she saw Warren waving to her, and she sighed quietly to herself.
He rode up, his smile wide across his handsome face, and she marveled that she had ever been attracted to him. He sidled his horse up alongside of her and boldly took her reins in his kid-gloved hands.
She gave him a disapproving look and said, “Warren, do release my reins.”
“If you promise not to rush off from me. Lately, as soon as you see me, off you go in the opposite direction. I never have a moment alone with you.” His voice sounded strangled as he said her name, “Serena …”
“Ah,” she said, trying to lighten the moment, and hurriedly stuck in, “You mean to be serious. I can see it in your eyes, and you should not be serious Warren—not with me.”
“I must,” he said dramatically. “I must be serious.”
She smiled ruefully. “You and I both know that whatever you think you want today, you shall not want tomorrow. But, if you must … have at me.”
“I know you think I am involved with the Parker chit,” he started.
“I don’t think—I and everyone else know. But I must tell you to your face, it doesn’t matter to me. Do not think it does.”
He clucked his tongue. “Perhaps I was interested in her for a time, but only because she is an heiress with an income I could not easily ignore. However, you must know that she means absolutely nothing to me. I swear it.”
Her eyes narrowed, and she wanted to slap his face. She felt her anger make its way from her mind to her lips and curbed herself. She caught herself before she gave him a tongue lashing. The best thing she could do was to stay out of such a conversation. However, she found she could not stop herself from telling him, “I don’t think you should speak about Miss Parker in such a manner. I am sure she believed you in earnest when you began … what appeared to be a courtship. I am not well acquainted with her, but she has always seemed a very pleasant girl—”
“Yes, yes, she is,” he said, cutting her short, “But, Serena, as hard as I tried to bring myself to want her … to ask for her hand … I knew she was not for me. You are the one. I need you to know that I have come to realize you are the one, the only one I shall ever love.”