Killer, Come Back to Me

He stood up. He must have made a phone call. He didn’t remember. He found himself, suddenly, upstairs. He opened the nursery door and walked inside and stared blankly at the crib. His stomach was sick. He couldn’t see very well.

The baby’s eyes were closed, but his face was red, moist with perspiration, as if he’d been crying long and hard.

“She’s dead,” said Leiber to the baby. “She’s dead.”

Then he started laughing low and soft and continuously for a long time until Dr. Jeffers walked in out of the night and slapped him again and again across the face.

“Snap out of it! Pull yourself together!”

“She fell down the stairs, Doctor. She tripped on a patchwork doll and fell. I almost slipped on it the other night, myself. And now—”

The doctor shook him.

“Doc, Doc, Doc,” said Dave, hazily. “Funny thing. Funny. I—I finally thought of a name for the baby.”

The doctor said nothing.

Leiber put his head back in his trembling hands and spoke the words. “I’m going to have him christened, next Sunday. Know what name I’m giving him? I’m going to call him Lucifer.”

* * *

It was eleven at night. A lot of strange people had come and gone through the house, taking the essential flame with them— Alice. David Leiber sat across from the doctor in the library.

“Alice wasn’t crazy,” he said, slowly. “She had good reason to fear the baby.”

Jeffers exhaled. “Don’t follow after her! She blamed the child for her sickness, now you blame it for her death. She stumbled on a toy, remember that. You can’t blame the child.”

“You mean Lucifer?”

“Stop calling him that!”

Leiber shook his head. “Alice heard things at night, moving in the halls. You want to know what made those noises, Doctor? They were made by the baby. Four months old, moving in the dark, listening to us talk. Listening to every word!” He held to the sides of the chair. “And if I turned the lights on, a baby is so small. It can hide behind furniture, a door, against a wall— below eye-level.”

“I want you to stop this!” said Jeffers.

“Let me say what I think or I’ll go crazy. When I went to Chicago, who was it kept Alice awake, tiring her into pneumonia? The baby! And when Alice didn’t die, then he tried killing me. It was simple; leave a toy on the stairs, cry in the night until your father goes downstairs to fetch your milk, and stumbles. A crude trick, but effective. It didn’t get me. But it killed Alice dead.” David Leiber stopped long enough to light a cigarette. “I should have caught on. I’d turn on the lights in the middle of the night, many nights, and the baby’d be lying there, eyes wide. Most babies sleep all the time. Not this one. He stayed awake, thinking.”

“Babies don’t think.”

“He stayed awake doing whatever he could do with his brain, then. What in hell do we know about a baby’s mind? He had every reason to hate Alice; she suspected him for what he was —certainly not a normal child. Something—different. What do you know of babies, Doctor? The general run, yes. You know, of course, how babies kill their mothers at birth. Why? Could it be resentment at being forced into a lousy world like this one?”

Leiber leaned toward the doctor, tiredly. “It all ties up. Suppose that a few babies out of all the millions born are instantaneously able to move, see, hear, think, like many animals and insects can. Insects are born self-sufficient. In a few weeks most mammals and birds adjust. But children take years to speak and learn to stumble around on their weak legs.

“But suppose one child in a billion is—strange? Born perfectly aware, able to think, instinctively. Wouldn’t it be a perfect setup, a perfect blind for anything the baby might want to do? He could pretend to be ordinary, weak, crying, ignorant. With just a little expenditure of energy he could crawl about a darkened house, listening. And how easy to place obstacles at the top of stairs. How easy to cry all night and tire a mother into pneumonia. How easy, right at birth, to be so close to the mother that a few deft maneuvers might cause peritonitis!”

“For God’s sake!” Jeffers was on his feet. “That’s a repulsive thing to say!”

“It’s a repulsive thing I’m speaking of. How many mothers have died at the birth of their children? How many have suckled strange little improbabilities who cause death one way or another? Strange, red little creatures with brains that work in a bloody darkness we can’t even guess at. Elemental little brains, warm with racial memory, hatred, and raw cruelty, with no more thought than self-preservation. And self-preservation in this case consisted of eliminating a mother who realized what a horror she had birthed. I ask you, Doctor, what is there in the world more selfish than a

baby? Nothing!”

Jeffers scowled and shook his head, helplessly.

Leiber dropped his cigarette down. “I’m not claiming any great strength for the child. Just enough to crawl around a little, a few months ahead of schedule. Just enough to listen all the time. Just enough to cry late at night. That’s enough, more than enough.”

Jeffers tried ridicule. “Call it murder, then. But murder must be motivated. What motive had the child?”

Leiber was ready with the answer. “What is more at peace, more dreamfully content, at ease, at rest, fed, comforted, unbothered, than an unborn child? Nothing. It floats in a sleepy, timeless wonder of nourishment and silence. Then, suddenly, it is asked to give up its berth, is forced to vacate, rushed out into a noisy, uncaring, selfish world where it is asked to shift for itself, to hunt, to feed from the hunting, to seek after a vanishing love that once was its unquestionable right, to meet confusion instead of inner silence and conservative slumber! And the child resents it! Resents the cold air, the huge spaces, the sudden departure from familiar things. And in the tiny filament of brain the only thing the child knows is selfishness and hatred because the spell has been rudely shattered. Who is responsible for this disenchantment, this rude breaking of the spell? The mother. So here the new child has someone to hate with all its unreasoning mind. The mother has cast it out, rejected it. And the father is no better, kill him, too! He’s responsible in his way!”