One Kiss: An Office Romance

Is because we are not alone.

Judith and Maury Hews stand up when we get into the dining room, with Zella smiling shyly and standing immediately afterward. My breath catches in my throat and I have to grind my teeth together to keep from barking at my mother. Reflexively, I place a hand under Clarissa’s elbow to draw her closer to me. I can feel her trembling with suppressed rage.

But she doesn’t give an inch. Throughout dinner, she remains friendly, if somewhat remote. We have generous portions of salmon and a frisée salad, and a rich cocoa gelato for dessert.

When I try to catch her eye, she simply shifts away. Instead, she remains rapt with forced, frozen attention as my mother and Judith tell story after story. When Judith tries to mention cute little stories that involve my relationship with Zella, my mother swoops in and redirects everything to a more benign topic.

As soon as we finish the gelato, I suggest we need to be going. Clarissa smiles like a mannequin and agrees politely, but she is also the first one out of her chair.

I don’t want to linger, but I take the moment to glare at my mother. She lowers her eyes in embarrassment.

“Dinner was delicious,” I growl through clenched teeth. “Can I see you for just a moment?”

The exchange goes over my father’s head, thankfully, and my mother follows me into the small vestibule outside the dining room. Immediately she raises her hands to protest her innocence.

/> “Judith invited herself over!” she whispers apologetically.

“You knew I was bringing Clarissa,” I explain in as even a tone as I can manage. “Can you imagine what she is thinking right now?”

“I’m so sorry!” she replies, clearly horrified. “I thought she was bringing… Well, it doesn’t matter now. That woman is horrid! Can you imagine? Inviting yourself to dinner like that? Bringing your whole family?”

“It’s not the whole family that is the problem, Mother.”

She shakes her head ruefully, dragging her fingertips hard over her forehead.

“I’m sorry if we made your friend feel awkward,” she sighs.

“Girlfriend,” I correct her, absorbing the startled and dismayed look she shoots me.

“You could have told me!”

I remind her that I did tell her I was bringing someone and she sniffs that there was no way for her to know that meant the someone was a someone. Though she protests her innocence, I get the feeling she didn’t exactly do all she could to stop this total disaster from happening.

“Please convey my goodbyes,” I ask her. “I’ll see you soon.”

I don’t want to simply storm off, so I kiss her gently on the cheek before leaving. The whole thing is so outrageous, I don’t even know how I could begin to describe it to her.

Outrageous to me, outrageous to my parents, and definitely outrageous to Clarissa. But not outrageous to Judith. That woman is really something else. The way she was grinning at me all night, the way she talked over everyone else to redirect the conversation at every opportunity back to Zella as though Clarissa was not even in the room. It made my blood boil.

But as I open the car door and get back in, I realize nobody’s blood is boiling quite as much as Clarissa’s right now. She is seething. She has every right to be, and I have no idea how I’m going to fix it.

Silently, we make our way back to her neighborhood. I search for the right words to say, vacillating between fury and an intolerable sense of helplessness.

“Clarissa, I had no idea. I’m sure you know that,” I start.

“Oh, I’m sure,” she agrees, her tone clipped and terse. “It’s all right.”

“No, it’s not all right,” I shake my head. “I’m really sorry. If I had known—”

“Who could have known?” she interrupts me.

But she will not meet my eye. Her hand is on the door handle as soon as we stop, and she aims her body toward the sidewalk.

“I’ll see you at work tomorrow,” she announces with a tone of finality in her voice.

“Oh, um,” I mutter, piecing it together.

She’s not inviting me in. She would like me to leave.