A Nanny for Christmas

“I’m so happy you’re home, baby.” I buried my face against her fine blonde hair and inhaled the scent of mangoes. “Please don’t ever do this again.”

She lifted her head, which forced me to move mine so I could look into her eyes. “I’m sorry, Daddy.”

I nodded. “We’ll talk in a bit. Let’s get you cleaned up and fed. Margot’s making your favorite dinner.”

Her eyes sparkled. “Brie en Croûte and salmon cakes?”

I nodded. “With chocolate cake for dessert.”

CHAPTER 16

LINDSAY

Watching them interact throughout dinner left a lump in my throat. There was a new tenderness in Ben’s actions, and Elle was the most open I’d seen in a long while. She even reached out to hold his hand at one point, and he clung to it like a lifeline.

It was beautiful, but also underscored my status as an outsider. Sitting there with the family, though not part of the family, was demoralizing no matter how heartwarming their reunion. I was quiet, trying to remain unobtrusive to allow them the time they needed.

Ben was quiet as well, though I couldn’t tell if he was basking in the joy of Elle’s safe return, brooding about something, or perhaps a bit of both.

When Elle smothered her third yawn of the evening, I said, “You look ready for bed.”

She didn’t protest, which meant she was exhausted. “Will you read me another chapter of Harry Potter?”

“Of course, unless your dad wants to?” I arched a brow at him.

He shook his head. “I don’t want to disturb your routine.” He pushed away from the table and walked around to kneel by Elle’s chair. She slipped into his arms, and he hugged her again. “I love you, sweetheart.”

“Love you too, Daddy,” she said against his chest.

I blinked back tears as I took her hand and led her to the bedroom. She had a quick bath while I pulled back the covers and got out the book.

Elle came into her room and took the brush from the vanity. She held it out to me hesitantly, and I took it. As she sat at the table, I brushed her damp hair.

“Are you going to be my mom, Lindsay?”

I kept brushing, but didn’t look up at her. “I’d love to be your mom, but I don’t know if that could work.”

“Do you like my daddy?”

I nodded at her, finally meeting her gaze in the mirror. “I like him more than any other boy.” Man was the right term, of course, because Ben wasn’t a boy by any stretch of the imagination.

“Does he like you?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Are you ready for the book?” I breathed a sigh of relief when she let me distract her.

I tucked her in and read her part of a chapter before her soft snores filled the room. I spent another moment just staring at her as the events of the day threatened to overwhelm me.

We’d gotten lucky that she was home safe and sound. Things could have been much different, and Ben was probably brooding about that right this moment.

I placed the bookmark in the book and put it on her nightstand before getting up. I couldn’t resist brushing a kiss against her temple on the way out of her room. I loved her so much that I couldn’t imagine I could love my own child any more than I did her.

I found him in the living room, staring into the fireplace with a glass of something clear in his hand. I sat down beside him, but didn’t touch. “Are you all right?”

He put aside the glass and fixed me with an intense stare. “I’m pretty far from all right, love.”

The endearment made my heart jump, but I tried not to read too much into it. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He shook his head as he turned to face me. “I just want to hold you. Is that okay?”