Sext God

I disconnect the call, slipping the phone back into my pocket and trying to stand up straight. My knees are still wobbly and I feel like I've been tossed around by a roller coaster. Carefully opening the door, I peek out into the hallway to make sure I’m alone before I stroll nonchalantly back to my desk.

After about ten minutes of typing like a good, industrious employee, I stand up and take my purse from my bottom desk drawer, hoping nobody's going to ask me anything on the way out. I'm totally entitled to lunch anyway. It shouldn't raise too many suspicions. But as I duck past Lori's office, I see her glaring at her PC screen and typing like a mad woman. I feel a pang of remorse, knowing that I let her down.

Somehow, Bunny looks adorable in her waitress outfit. It's the old-fashioned kind with the wide collar. Her pink dress buttons up the front, complete with plackets and a floral hanky peeking out of her breast pocket. She's got a nameplate too that says Belinda on it, although I don't think anybody has ever called her Belinda in real life. She's always been Bunny. Her mom says she's been Bunny since the day she was born and instantly nestled right up to her like a tiny mammal.

But she doesn't seem to feel self-conscious in her uniform as we stroll around the mall. After stopping immediately for a chocolate chip cookie, she holds out her hand, demanding my phone. She scrolls through the texts between me and August, moaning and giggling to herself, then scrolling back up to the top and beginning all over again.

“Goddamnit, you are one lucky slut!”

“I am not a slut,” I remind her. “I only play one on Instagram.”

“Well, keep this up, and you will achieve your life’s dream,” she nods. “This is some seriously hot stuff, Dahlia! Where did you learn how to do this?”

“I have no idea,” I shrug. “I mean, the other day, he just seemed to go off like a rocket. I just sort of follow along and try to keep up, I guess.”

She casts me a sidelong look, arching her eyebrow. “So are you ready to admit that you love it? That this has been in you all along, and you are now finally appreciating the finer things in life?”

I reach out, snatching the phone back from her.

“I don't know… okay. Yeah. It's pretty good. I mean, is this what everybody's doing all the time? I've been missing this all along?”

She pops another cookie piece into her mouth and smacks her lips lustily.

“Hell yeah, if you're lucky. The whole world is just filled with people getting it on, talking about getting it on, thinking about getting it on… it makes the world go round. People shouldn't pretend otherwise!”

“Wow… I really had no idea.”

“Shit, girl, I've been trying to tell you! Like, for our whole — wait.”

She puts her hand on my arm, stopping us in the middle of the mall walkway. The designer boutiques on either side of us smell like perfume and incense.

“What? You need to get back already?”

“No, look…” she gestures with her chin, jerking forward. I squint down the hall. Trying to figure out what she's looking at. “Isn’t that your new boyfriend over there?”

I scan back and forth, then finally see him. He is standing outside the Gucci store with his arms crossed over his chest, his head swiveling back and forth as he checks out every employee and shopper that passes by him. With his sunglasses on, he looks almost comically perfect as the security detail/intelligence operative.

Bunny grabs at my elbow and starts dragging me forward. “Come on.”

I try to jerk back, but she's surprisingly strong for a petite person. “No, Bunny!” I hiss. I have to get back to work!”

“So do I!” she hisses back. “But this is fate, Dahlia! Let's go!”

I still try to twist out of her arm, but as we approach, I know he sees us. Continuing to attempt the retreat would only make me look ridiculous, so I try to appear casual and nonchalant and let Bunny drag me along. My heart thuds so loud in my chest that I can barely hear her cackling with glee.

“What a coincidence!” she singsongs as we approach him. “Dahlia here was just saying that I need a new pair of Gucci boots to go with these jeans I picked up. What are you doing here, August?”

He looks us each up and down, and I can see myself reflected in his dark sunglasses. The corners of his mouth turn down into a serious frown.

“I would have thought you would be at work,” he mutters. His tone is abrupt and clipped. He clearly doesn't want us here.

“Yeah, well, so… Dahlia and I just decided to go for quick little shopping spree at lunch. It's not weird, is it?”

He looks at her directly, ignoring me entirely. I feel strangely cold. After this morning, I guess I was expecting a warmer greeting somehow. I know how absurd that is, but still this feels all kinds of terrible.

I know Bunny can tell, and she grips my elbow tighter.

“Okay, well, nice seeing you, August!”