Save Me, Sinners

“Mike… Doug... come over here and show Kita a good time, would you?”

A couple of men rush into the frame, making weird hand gestures and grinning with their tongues lolling out. Lizzie drapes an arm around each of them, pouting suggestively.

“What do you guys think of our little Russian spy baby? What do you think she's worth?”

The first guy rolls his eyes, and then he puts out his hand and slides it up my thigh, up into my skirt. I shudder, watching this. I have no recollection of this at all, and it's sort of like he's touching a mannequin or something, but at the same time that's me. That man was touching me.

I feel like I’m going to be sick.

“Hey, Mike, don’t spoil the merchandise!” Lizzie crows from out of frame.

“You know, how am I supposed to know the goods are really fresh, Lizzie?”

He leers at the camera with his hand still hidden beneath my skirt. I reflexively crush my knees together and snap the laptop closed.

“I don’t want to see anymore,” I mutter.

Serena huffs through her nose. “You need to see this, Kita. You need to see what they did. And all of it is on video… all of it. This is bullshit. I'm out of here.”

“Wh-what do you mean?”

“I mean fuck this stupid sorority bullshit!” she hisses, furious. “I’m moving back into the dorms. These girls are messed up!”

My mouth falls open as I stare at her. I don't know what to say. I don’t know what to say at all.

But I do know Daniel was right.

“The rest of the video,” I whisper, my voice hoarse and far away. “What’s on it? There was a man… did you see —”

“Oh yeah, there was a man all right,” she scoffs. She's breathing fast and rough, like she's barely holding herself together. Serena is usually pretty short tempered, but I've never seen her like this. “Fricking Guardian Angel, if you ask me. Is he really your dad?”

“My — oh, no. What? They’re really saying that? He is definitely not my dad,” I reply awkwardly, not really wanting to explain that I don't actually have one of those as far as I know. And if I did, he wouldn’t keep popping into my head the way he is, all strong and handsome and...

“Well, whatever he was, he saved our asses. I heard that right after we left, the cops shut the whole damn thing down. Lizzie is pissed. Not to mention, two of the sorority girls were already called in for disciplinary hearings today because they got arrested, and at least four other people are being kicked out of school.”

I walk stiffly over to my closet, pulling a cotton dress off a hanger with shaky fingers. What am I going to do? I feel so humiliated. So betrayed.

My memories flicker in my mind in a brief montage: Lizzie and Claudia laughing at me, Emma laughing at me on the stairs, Lonnie and Babs laughing at me. Everybody's laughing at me.

Everybody except Serena, and I don't even know what she thinks. I presume there's more the video, they are probably laughing at her too.

“My parents are coming to get me in two hours,” she informs me through clenched teeth. “This is only the start, Kita. Who knows whatever else they are going to put on the web. Do you have somewhere to go?”

I shake my head. I don't know what to do. I want to take a shower, but I can’t imagine showering here anymore. I can imagine doing anything here. I need to…

I don’t know what.

And then I look down, unfolding my cramped fingers. My hand has been in a fist since I walked through the door. The brass key glimmers against my palm. My skin is raised around its edges, almost as though the key is becoming part of me.

“Kita? You okay?”

“I really don't know if I’m okay,” I reply in a shaky voice that sounds almost like it’s coming from someone else. “But I think I know where I'm going.”

Chapter 31

Daniel

After I drop Kita off, I watch the front of the house for a few minutes. I want to make sure she gets inside okay, but I also want to make sure that she doesn't come right back out.