Second First Impressions

“You’re Ruthie,” he repeats, like I’m famous. We shake hands. “Well, I didn’t see that coming.”

“How do you mean?”

“You’re not what I expected,” Alistair says, which is intriguing, and it’s frustrating when he gets distracted by the sight of the Parlonis holding on to Teddy’s arms. “Wow. I didn’t think he’d last a week doing that.”

“Me neither. But he works twelve-hour days for them. He never complains, and believe me, they give him a lot to complain about.”

“I’m giving her the tour,” Teddy yells from outside, weighed down by his elderly employers. “Wait for me.”

“I hope you’re going to stop giving him a hard time,” I say to Alistair quietly. “He’s working his ass off to make this happen and he wants this so badly. Make him feel like you actually want him here, okay?”

Alistair blinks, hesitates, turns an embarrassed color, and goes to open the front door. “You’re just in time. I need your thoughts on the paint the contractor’s suggested.”

Teddy smiles brightly, then reflexively looks at me, and I’m in love.

I always thought that love would feel like something gentle, but this isn’t. I feel a clawing, desperate need to hold his heart in my hand and to fend off anything that might damage it. The world outside Providence is a chaotic, restless thing, full of disappointments and pain. I am the only one careful enough to hold on to something so precious.

“Fetch the needle, I’m not getting any younger,” Renata says to Alistair.

“We agreed that this is a consult, to get started on the design,” Teddy tells Renata when she opens her mouth to argue. “I’m not designing it for you and that’s final. Alistair is the best.”

Judging from what I’ve seen in the waiting room, Teddy is the best. I wish he would realize it. I’m surprised by how quickly I’ve adjusted to this I’m-in-love revelation. It’s like picking up a coat in a thrift store and shrugging it on; it fits. I don’t need to look in a mirror to know it. Now I just carry on wearing it. My back aches from that huge drive. I don’t know how many more times I could do that.

Alistair takes Renata and Aggie into a small room off the hallway and seats them. “So what are we doing here?”

“I’ve got some ideas,” Renata says, digging in her Birkin for her notepad. “It’s a tribute to the love of my life.”

Has he passed away? How long ago was their affair? I know she’s never married. In that YouTube footage of Renata abusing Karl Lagerfeld, it’s Aggie seated beside her, looking young and lovely. There was some kind of tension between them that went as far back as their prom night. Maybe they were both in love with the same man. I’m rather pleased with my juicy theory and decide to discuss it with Teddy later.

“You are going to make her lifelong wish come true,” Aggie observes to Alistair. “She couldn’t sleep last night, just tossed and turned.”

“I’m honored,” Alistair says, smiling at them both. “I think I’ll need to look at your skin to see if it’s suitable for the piece.”

“Why?” Renata goes very still, like a snake before striking. Alistair doesn’t know her, and he blunders on.

“You’re older than my average client. I’ve never worked on anyone as old . . .” He trails off and realizes he’s just pulled the pin on a grenade. Teddy and I are already halfway down the hall when she detonates.

We go into a room at the end of the corridor. It’s got a bench for the client, a counter, and a stool. “This will be my room,” Teddy tells me and I watch him smooth his hands down on the countertops. “I like this one because I can see all the way down to the front desk. I can’t wait until I have my own photos on the wall here. So what do you think?”

It’s the second time he’s asked that and he’s nervous for my answer. “It?

?s great, Teddy. But every boss has an office. Where’s yours?”

The question surprises him. “I didn’t think about that. I’m going to be living upstairs, so I guess I could work out of the spare room? I’m going to talk to Alistair about the things I want to do here.”

Now I notice he’s got a bulging file under one arm. He says, “I got a quote for the software. And I downloaded a free trial and mocked up how it’ll look. It was your idea. It’s things like that that’ll make him take me seriously.”

“You take yourself seriously. That’s the most important thing. I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you,” he says with such sincerity that I know it’s one of the first goodbyes we will have. I abruptly don’t want to hear it, but he continues, “You’ve helped me get my confidence for this. I don’t know how to run a business. Between you and Alistair, I know I’ll have someone to ask when I don’t know something.”

So I’ll be back at Providence, at my desk, receiving a call when he doesn’t know how to add a new client to the database. In the background, I’ll hear pretty girls leaning on the glass countertop, picking out their piercing jewelry, waiting for him to get off the phone to flirt with him. I’ve always known what’s been happening here, but it still makes me feel small. I’ve helped plenty of handsome boys with their homework or the Parlonis over the years. “Would it be okay if I go wait in the car?”

He’s crushed. “But I’ve waited a long time to be in this room, and I want to be in it with you. Come sit down.” He pats the bench seat that I guess clients lie on. I edge my butt up. He asks, “What’s happening with you?”

“Let’s pretend I’m a new client.” I put my arm out in the hopes that he’ll touch me.

He laughs and wheels over his stool. “Okay, New Client, what do you want?”