“Hello, Aubrey…”
“What do you want?” Her voice was cold.
“How are you?”
“What do you want, Andrew?” she asked, even colder. “I’m busy.”
“Then why did you pick up?”
“It was a mistake.” She ended the call.
I drew in a sharp breath, shocked that she hung up on me. I started to type up an email, chastising her for being so rude, but I noticed that she hadn’t responded to my last three in months:
Subject: Your Resignation.
Even though the last two words of your resignation letter were ridiculous and unprofessional, I’d like to take you up on your offer to f**k you.
Name the time.
—Andrew.
Subject: My Suit.
Since you have yet to pick up your final check, should I assume that’s your way of letting me keep it to replace the suit you ruined?
—Andrew.
Subject: BALLET.
I stopped by your dance hall earlier. You weren’t there.
Did you quit that, too?
—Andrew.
I decided that I needed to replace her. Fast.
I grabbed my laptop from my nightstand and logged into LawyerChat, looking for another Alyssa-type.
I spent all night roaming the chat rooms, answering questions left and right—gauging the personalities of the askers, but none of them grabbed me. Still, one woman who was listed as a high profile lawyer with ten years of experience seemed promising, so I clicked on her chat box.
“If you have ten years of experience, what could you possibly need help with on this site?” I typed.
“You’re never too old to learn new things…Why are you on here?”
“I’m looking for a replacement.”
“You’re trolling for an employee?”
“No, just someone I can talk to and make cum occasionally.”
She blocked me.
I tried talking to a few other women—keeping my true words to myself, but ultimately they just wanted to use me for information. They weren’t open to talking about anything else, and since LawyerChat had expanded its site recently, there seemed to be an influx of law students using it as a complaint board about their professors.
I shut the laptop and took another swig from my bottle—immediately realizing that there was only one “Alyssa-type”: Aubrey…
Maybe I made a mistake…