“And I guess I’m checking it twice. You owe me, Tee. You still there, Sexiest Man Alive?”
Haydn winced. “I really hate that,” he said to Teela. To Evie, he said, “Who, me?”
“Teela is the fourth best thing in my life.”
“Fourth best,” Teela muttered. “Fourth!”
“You need to be nice to her,” Evie said. “No making her feel bad when you go back to the big time after slumming it in Sydney. No promises you won’t keep. No messing with her head. No shitty don’t let the door hit you on your way out flippin’ kiss-off cards.”
“She can be a little ferocious,” Teela whispered, biting back her laughter at the shocked look on Haydn’s face.
“What’s the first best thing in your life, Evie?” he said. “I hate to think—”
“None of your business and I am not kidding around.”
“Okay, okay.” He looked straight at Teela, cupping her face. “I will be respectful. I promise. I learned my lesson.”
What was left of her bones dissolved.
“That you write shitty cards,” Evie snarked.
“That Teela is not one size fits all.”
“She’s not one and done either.”
“Step in here anytime, Teela,” Haydn said, knocking his forehead to hers. “Very much not one and done.”
“You’re not to make her fall in love with you and then break her heart.”
“Are you a cop, a school teacher, a lawyer who’s had a hard time with actors before?”
“None of the above. Don’t do that actorly thing and change the subject.”
“Actorly thing?” he said, amused.
“And I’m only fourth best,” Teela said, rubbing her cheek on Haydn’s shoulder.
He hugged her a little closer. “Teela is too smart to fall for me, Evie. She knows about the fillers and the false teeth.”
“You have false teeth?” Evie pretty much cackled at that.
“Plus terrible bad breath. I’m a total toe-jam factory and I’m only an inch when erect.”
“You’re slipping, Tee,” Evie said. “Sure you’re okay with Mr. Sexy One Inch?”
“He’ll do for a weekend,” Teela said.
Haydn buried his face in her neck and whimpered, “I feel horribly objectified.”
“You’re interesting, I can say that for you,” Evie said. “And most famous people bore me rigid.”
“Please send Hassan back in one piece. I’m only borrowing him,” Haydn said.
Just like he was only borrowing Teela.
Hassan said something that was indistinct, and Evie laughed again. “No promises.”
EIGHT