“You’re full of shit.”
“So are you. Why didn’t you tell me about—” This time it wasn’t his volume control failing, he didn’t know what to say. He’d tried to talk to her before but she’d brushed him off.
“Being up the duff. Same reason you’re not telling me what’s going on in your head now.”
“It’s not the same, Trill. That was too awful, too hard on you, on Jamie, on Angus. I should’ve known. I should’ve helped you,” he gave up trying to keep his distance and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her hard up against him. “All of you.”
She resettled in his embrace. “What could you do? What could anyone do?”
He shook his head. Something, anything would’ve been better than the nothing he did. “You have to put it right with Jamie.”
“You have to not be such an arse to Georgia.”
If Georgia was his heart, Angus was his blood, Jamie was his bone, but Taylor was his conscience. “I’m messed up and I’m hurting everyone and I need to cut Georgia free so she doesn’t get crushed.”
“God, give me a break.”
He cleared his throat. “Give me one. You’re messed up and you hurt Jamie and he loves you.”
“I didn’t know he loved me, and anyway he doesn’t anymore.”
“Fix it, Trill.”
“I don’t know how. I’ve never known how with Jamie. He takes my breath away. Remember the day you got home, the perfume that made you sneeze? Yeah, well I was going to see this new guy until I realised the only reason I wanted to see him was that he looked like Jamie if you kinda squinted and he stood in a certain light.
“All my life it’s been Jamie and I’m so wrong for him. That night should never have happened. He was leaving. We were drinking. I thought he was drunk and wouldn’t remember and then a baby. Jesus, I didn’t want to be a mother. I wanted it all to go away and then it did and that was worse, so much worse.”
Taylor put her hand on top of his, he flipped it and they clasped. They sat quietly, just being there with each other, the noise of the club less discordant than what Taylor had just admitted.
“You’re going away, aren’t you?”
He nodded. “For a little while. Long enough for Georgia to move on.”
“It’s a bastard act.”
“I should take that from you.”
“You should do better than me. I thought you loved her.”
“It’s because I love her.”
“Then you understand why I did what I did.”
He understood better than he could ever explain. He squeezed her hand. The concrete floor was starting to bite into his backside. “Where are we?”
“Fire exit. Security is so slack arse here. Don’t leave her like this. I like her. She’s good for you.”
He sighed and stretched both legs out, crossing them at the ankles. “But I’m not good for her. She knew it when we met. She tried to warn me off.”
“But you bulldozed her.”
“I gave her a fish.”
“As in for dinner?”
“As in gold.”
“And that convinced her of your charms?”