“Oh god,” I breathe out. Could that really happen? I don’t know anything about furnaces. I thought it was better that it was getting too hot than not hot at all.
“It’s fine, I’m taking care of it. We can’t shut it off fully without risking freezing the pipes and then blowing.” I watch as he puts his cell phone into his pocket and I see a small trace of dirt on his chin.
“You didn’t have to do that,” I tell him. It’s sweet that he noticed the furnace was messed up to begin with and even sweeter that he’s trying to fix it for me. I reach up to wipe the dirt from his chin and he leans into my touch. I enjoy the feel of his light beard under my fingertips and how his eyes close for a moment until I speak again.
“But I can’t afford to pay for that.” I start to drop my hand, but he reaches up and takes it in his.
Seeing his big palm wrapped around my wrist makes everything inside of me still. He’s so much bigger than I am and I feel small and delicate with his hands on me. He could easily overpower me and take what he wants. How can I desire that, along with his act of kindness?
He looks at me and I wonder if he can feel my racing heart. He probably thinks it’s fear when I know it’s excitement. Not that I would ever admit that aloud. He brings my hand to his mouth, where he kisses my palm gently and the move surprises me. I swallow hard to try and get the lump out of my throat.
“No one is asking you to pay for it.” He kisses my palm again before releasing my wrist.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to say I won’t be paying with cash, but I can’t bring myself to take away from his generosity. Even if it isn’t real and he has another angle I’m not seeing yet, I’m still going to take it. It’s been too long since someone was nice to me or wanted to take care of me.
“You should pack a bag. You can’t stay here tonight.”
“Of course I’m staying here.” Where else would I stay? Not having somewhere to go sends me into a panic. I’ve been alone since I lost Grams, but in this moment I truly feel alone and it’s a realization that rocks me.
“It will be too cold. Nick will only leave the heat high enough so the pipes don’t freeze. That won’t be warm enough for you to stay.”
“I’ll be fine. I’ve got blankets and stuff, I’m sure I’ll be okay.” I take a step back from him.
Maybe I could call Linda from the clinic and see if I can stay with her. No way am I asking my brother to stay with him. If worse came to worst I’d just have to suck it up and hunker down tonight. I don’t want to have to ask Linda since she has her hands full with her life and kids.
“I won’t let you stay in a cold house. You will stay with me.” My mouth falls open in shock. He didn’t even ask me. It’s a demand, and I can read it in every line of his body that he isn’t backing down from this.
“I don’t even know where you live,” I blurt out as I look for a reason not to go to his place.
Going home with him feels intimate. I’ve never gone home with a man before. I’ve thought about it before when I’d lie in bed at night wondering what it would be like to be with a man.
“You’ll be fine. My sister lives with me,” he says.
“Yeah, because that’s reassurance. I have a brother, so you telling me your sister lives with you means nothing.”
His eyes narrow for a second as he tries to read me. Crap. I’ve said too much. It makes me wonder how much Brian knows about what Slate told me to do. Maybe he doesn’t know anything at all. I hadn’t thought of that until now. Maybe I’m being used to seduce him so Slate can keep Brian close. We all know Slate wants to work with him no matter what the cost. I’m reminded that I’m supposed to be agreeable and it takes away the indecision. I should be pissed, but relief slides through me that it’s out of my hands. I don’t want him to ask about my brother and I need to get this done. Then I have to come up with a plan.
“Never mind. You’re right. I’ll stay with you.” He steps so close to me so that I have to look up at him.
“Why do you keep doing that?” His hands come out and grip my hips as he holds me close and keeps me in place. His lips trail softly down my neck and I’m a puddle in his arms.