“Who?”
“Pass.”
Didn’t expect that. Didn’t give a fuck, because he was close and she was sucking on him, her cheeks working, saliva making everything wetter, her pupils blown out, eyes up on his, her hand in her own pants.
“You love giving head.” Not a question but she made a sound in agreement and it trickled all the way up his spine and over his head, a shower of sparkles and he lost control, jetting into the perfect soft warmth of her mouth, his hands in her hair and legs clamping around her kneeling form.
He was the one who was crazy about someone.
He used the T-shirt to clean them both up. Pouring her water from the pitcher on the coffee table and bringing her back to the sofa where she curled at his side.
“I’d almost completely lost interest in sex for sex’s sake,” she said, “now I’m thinking it is a defining characteristic, because I am sex obsessed about you.”
Maybe the most satisfactory answer of all. He kissed her slightly sweaty forehead as she laid it on his shoulder. In fairness the game was over, had reached an explosive conclusion but he still had questions. He might always have questions for her.
“What made you kiss me like that?”
There’d been hundreds of kisses she might not know what he meant, and he wasn’t sure he could explain it.
“Because you’re important to me.” She traced the lines of the vines on his arm. “Because I’m glad I’m with you. Because when I came here this was meant to be goodbye. I wasn’t going to see you again after this weekend, but I took one look at you and knew I couldn’t do that. Because I wonder if we might be able to stick without our clothes on and because I don’t care anymore what Swire and Yallop think. You’re worth the risk. If it’s okay with you, I’ll tell them the truth. I’ll find a way around this because I want to keep seeing you.”
“Fucking great answer.” His voice was end of a concert rough. He held Mena to his side a little tighter, as if holding her physically could bind her to him in other ways.
It hadn’t occurred to him that she’d meant to both resign him as a client and as a person and never see him again. He felt like he’d narrowly missed being in a fatal accident. “We can talk to your boss together, if that works for you?”
She reached for his other hand and squeezed it. “It’s enough that you offered.”
“Have you ever been crazy enough about anyone to be in love?”
“Once. A long time ago and I was very different then. He was someone I lusted after. I plotted to meet him. Put myself in his way so he couldn’t avoid me. It was only a temporary thing. But it was good in a way that shocked both of us. I found out much later that it meant something to him. Neither of us tried for more, but I still wonder what might’ve happened if we had.”
Story reminded him of his week with Philly. “Man was an idiot to let you go.” It was difficult to imagine how Mena was still single.
“We were on different paths.”
“We’re on different paths. I’m a musical clown and you’re a mathematical witch. I kinda liked that monster truck and you hated it.”
She poked his side. “It was super impractical.”
“I was joking but I think you know what I mean. We’re not as different as I first thought but we’re not from the same worlds now. Does it worry you?” When she didn’t reply, he took a quick breath and went on. “It worrie
s me. I’m not touring right now, but I spend months on the road every year. It’s not an easy life for partners.”
She didn’t respond.
“I’m getting ahead of myself, right?”
She brought his hand to her lips and kissed his palm. “I didn’t hate it.”
He was so freaking hooked. She was extraordinary. He had one question left. The very first question he’d ever asked her. It was like being scared spaghetti was going to choke him all over again. It made no sense.
“Mena, have we met before?”
She lifted her head, her eyes wide and said, “Pass.”
SEVENTEEN
The word pass was out of her mouth, deadpan serious, before Mena could weigh its impact. She flat out panicked and tried to disguise it in acting like she’d intended to tease Grip. She’d been careful with all of her answers, not telling outright lies but keeping her secret, never mentioning being goth, or spending all of her time in pubs, clubs and concert venues, and everyone had that one-who-got-away story.