“Are you, you know, are you and Reece?” Les was asking the haircut question. Without the haircut.
Audrey shook her head. She was concerned about people knowing how she felt about Reece. But Merrill would’ve picked up on it too. Esther certainly had. She went to the kettle, filled it and turned it on. “Oh God, Les. We’ve kissed, we’ve made out, but that’s all. It’s not appropriate, it’s not.”
It was incendiary. It was rearranging her biology to resist him any longer. She wanted him in her bed. Preferably when Mia was safely in her own. He’d been reluctant about getting into bed with her while Mia slept. It was a testament of her trust in him that it’d simply felt loving.
“He kisses me like he’s never going to kiss anyone else ever again. He’s so totally amazing with Mia and I’ve needed the support and he’s been here, and I’m making excuses. I am so deep in lust with him I can hardly stand it.”
Les clapped her hands and bounced on the stool.
“He let Mia watch him shave this morning and I had this uncontrollable urge to ring around the playgroup gang and farm Mia out so I could take him to bed and keep him there all day.”
“What’s stopping you?”
“Everything. Nothing. Mia. My health. My mother in my head. Are you sleeping with Polly?”
“Not yet, and that’s because I haven’t worked out how I want my heart broken, before or after he sees me naked. I’ve only got one shot at this.” Les flicked her fingers at the cake box. “Pass me another tart.”
“Oh, Les.”
“I know I know, two is enough.”
Audrey passed the box. “Have the tart. What does Polly say?”
“He says he likes me the way I am, but you’ve seen him. He’s like this.” Les held up the tart. “Melt in the mouth flaky pastry and too good to be fat free custard. Totally delicious and incredibly popular. There’s no way this is anything but a scam for him. I don’t know, a walk on the lard side. I am going to get so dumped, but I’d like to avoid getting humiliated in the process.” She bit into the tart and moaned her satisfaction.
“You can’t sleep with a guy you think is going to humiliate you.”
“I can. I will, eventually. Because I’m never going to get offered anything as prime as his rib again and I want that, just the once, and I’ll get over it. Better to have, etcetera, etcetera.”
“Are you sure?
“You do remember what he looks like? The bad boy groove, those tatts, the hair, the muscles. He’s big enough to make me feel small. And he’s funny. We enjoy hanging out together. I lay shit on him and he bats it straight back. He says I’m different. He’s taught me how to play Mortal Combat, World of Warcraft and Halo, and I can wop his very fine arse at all of them. But at the end of the day I am fat old Les the lawyer and he is the spunky part owner in his own building company, who’s had more sexual conquests than Mortal Combat has fatalities. Polly and I—we are not a match. But you and Reece. Audrey, he fought for you and Mia. When we didn’t know what was best for you, he did. And we were too up ourselves to listen to him.”
Audrey’s tea had gone cold, right as her brain went hot. “I can’t sleep with my nanny.” Why did the stunning clarity of that knowledge make her miserable?
“Why not?”
“Mia. Power. Gender politics. Age difference. It’s not right for Reece. The fact that I’ve been thinking about doing it means I’m still not in my right mind. They told me my emotions would be all over the place. I can’t make any decisions that would have lasting consequences right now.”
Les’ eyes went lawyer mode. She narrowed them as she focused her argument. “Lasting consequences? You’re talking about sex, really great sex, not marriage. Neither of you would do anything to hurt Mia. You both know how to use discretion, and you can palm her off on Merrill or playgroup, or me, worst case. Power is an issue. You’re his employer. There’s even an issue about the whole sexual favours for money—”
“—Don’t say—”
“Prostitution.”
Audrey put her face in her hands. She had to ask Reece to move out tonight. She didn’t trust herself when he was around. She was confused about her moral obligations, her responsibilities. This was just a version of cabin fever, being contained in the house with only Reece for adult company.
“Now, gender politics and age difference. You have looked at that man? You do know how he looks at you? He should carry a warning label. Liable to cause heart palpitations. Do not place near monitoring equipment. In the hospital I thought he might blow things up just the way he looked at you. I kept expecting crash carts to appear. So if you think age difference is a real thing, I need to hit you with something hard. And gender politics.” Les took a breath, she was nowhere near done. Audrey assumed a crash position, folding her arms in front of her face. It had no effect on Les.
“What you do in the bedroom, or the kitchen or the bathroom, or any room you feel like doing the deed in with that beautiful man, is your own goddamn business. But I have every intention of making it my business if you wuss out for the wrong reasons.”
Audrey brought her arms down. She was confused. She’d expected Les to side with her sensible self, warn her off with pragmatism and a wistful lament for possibilities gone to waste. They’d drink more tea, regret the tarts, and gossip about Reece. It would feel very schoolgirl and non-threatening, and Audrey would square her shoulders, be an adult about it all and stop mucking around with Reece’s affections. Somehow.
But this Les, playing computer games with another significantly younger and equally unsuitable man, and ready to risk her heart on him, was an unexpected phenomenon, like a storm front she hadn’t battened down for. Audrey was fast getting swept away.
“What’s the right reason?” she said, confused, miserable and frustrated.
Les grinned. “You aren’t absolutely dying to have his hands on you. To climb up that great tree trunk of a body, suck that delicious mouth and cling like a koala while he eviscerates any memory you’ve ever had