“Go inside, Audrey. I need to clear my head.”
“Don’t get in that car and drive angry.”
He laughed, it was a strained sound, bitter like rancid fruit on his tongue. She had no idea what angry looked like on him. “You don’t need me to stay over any more. You haven’t for a while. I should’ve moved out ages ago.”
“You’re moving out?”
“I’ll be back in the morning to do my job.”
“Reece.”
He got in the Monaro and started it. She stepped off the kerb and stood in front of the car. He pounded the steering wheel with his fist and shouted at her through the windscreen to stand aside. He could pull around her, and if he edged forward she’d move. He squeezed his eyes closed and put his head down on the wheel. He needed space. He needed—
She opened the heavy car door and he sat upright. “You found the cameras. Oh, Reece. I forgot about them.”
“You forgot.”
“With the nearly dying, with the falling in love. I forgot.”
“But you set them up to monitor me. Not Cameron, right?”
She nodded. He looked away from her, out the front windscreen. She reached in and turned the ignition off. The quiet was deafening, like after you
’d stopped using a jackhammer, but the anger still vibrated inside him and he still wanted to punch concrete.
“You were a puzzle. A giant of a man, who gave up traditional male roles to take on a traditional female one. I doubted my own decision to hire you and I hated myself for it. You were only doing what I’ve done in my own career, but I second guessed myself.”
“Why the fuck did you hire me then?”
“You were the best. You deserved the job. And I never for one moment thought you’d hurt Mia.”
He kept his face turned away from her. He didn’t want her to see the fierceness in him, till he could get it under control.
“I started to fall in love with you when I watched those files. You danced with Mia like it was the most important thing you could be doing, and I should’ve realised then that’s how you do everything. All I knew at the time was you were proud and shameless and, oh God, Reece I wanted you then, but I wouldn’t let myself think that. I watched the files of you and Mia and fell more and more under your spell.”
She put her hand on his shoulder and his instinct was to flinch, knock her hand away.
“Please don’t be angry with me. Please don’t leave like this. I’m sorry, not because of the cameras, but because I forgot to turn them off, forgot to tell you. I understand you need space. But don’t drive away in anger.”
He put his hand over hers, pulled her across his lap, and shoved his face in the curve of her neck. He’d lost it and he was ashamed. He breathed her in. She was hairdressing chemicals and underneath she was lavender soap and underneath she was the woman he loved. He needed to get a grip. It was such an old trigger and he’d let it affect this new life. She held on to him, sitting side-saddle, the steering wheel at her back. He held her still till he trusted himself to speak without anger ripping his voice up.
He filled his hand with her glossy straightened hair and brought their foreheads together. “Being recorded, it’s a thing I hate. Years ago I did something stupid, hurtful. A so-called friend filmed it and I didn’t know he had. He loaded it to a website, thumb drives, passed it around. It wasn’t something I wanted anyone to see. Too many people saw it. It made me a Z grade celebrity for a while.”
She put her palm to the side of his face. “I would never.”
“I know that, but I found the program trying to shut your laptop. I found the footage and the cameras. I lost it. I was trying to not be here before you got back. I’d have calmed down, I’d have run it off.”
She looked back towards the house quickly. She’d be worried about leaving Mia alone. “What did you do?” She didn’t mean today.
This wasn’t the time to talk about it. “Nothing you need to worry about. Something I’d like to forget.”
“You’ve had no time to yourself since I got sick. One weekend off and you spent that at a working bee for Flip’s school.” She curled her fingers around his ears and shook his head side to side. “Go, run. Take a break from my life and visit your own.”
He nodded. It was good sense. “I’ll make it up to you. I’ll go back to my old bed tonight, but tomorrow night a date. I’ll get Etta and Flip to sit for us. We’ll have a proper night out, a drink, dinner.”
She smiled. “I haven’t been on a date for...” She shook her head, gave him a shy smile. “No pressure.”
He brought their foreheads together. He’d more than make it up to her. “Let me dance with you instead of Mia. I promise no propellers.”