Unsuitable

“Last night was an accident. If it hadn’t happened—”

“But it did. If it hadn’t, were you ever going to tell me about that part of your life?”

He took a lungful of breath and tried to hold it, tried to calm down. “I’m not that man anymore. Fuck. Give me a chance to explain. Let me see you.”

“No.”

“Audrey.” He might’ve plucked that railing from its cement footing, like it was made of Lego.

“I’ll bank your severance Monday. I’ll have Les drop a bag of things you left at the house to Polly. She’ll ask Polly for your house keys.”

“That’s it. I don’t get to say good bye to Mia?”

“It’s better this way. It will upset her.”

“Fuck.”

She disconnected.

He pounded the hand holding his phone into the guardrail once, twice, till the phone shattered. He opened the cuts on his knuckles and blood dripped down his hand.

Sky stopped him doing any further damage, freaking out any more people on the promenade. She came to dinner that night. He sat at the head of the table with six women he cared about, who still cared about him.

22: Losing Control

Barrett had a broken heart. That’s why he was back. Nothing to do with hunting for new stock, like he’d told Audrey, and everything to do with avoiding Jeremy, his partner of three years. He was basically hiding out, though he could certainly afford to stay anywhere he wanted, so behind that was his genuine concern about what would be done for Mia if anything terminal did happen to Audrey.

He looked miserable and he meant well. And he noticed she was miserable too. That was the thing with Barrett, he came off like he drifted above ordinary mortals, that he was bored by everyday life, but he didn’t miss a trick while his head was stuck in Antique Trader.

He told her to cry and she did. Again. Enormous ugly-making, snot projecting tears. It had been a year of loss and shock and feeling out of control. She’d cried more this year than in her whole adult life. She wished she’d never met Reece, never invited him into her home, never been stupid enough to sleep with him because he was beautiful and she was shaken and lonely, or fall in love with him because he saved her life and made her feel cared for and cherished.

It was out of character for her to be so wild. She was not right in the head after the meningitis, that’s why it happened. And she should’ve known that and not made any decisions that would muck with her plans. The best she could do now was move on as fast as possible, get back with the program, be better organised for Mia, focus on work and pull her life together.

And Barrett agreed, because that’s what Barrett generally did, until the point where he didn’t.

They spent the first night together with wine and take out, with Mia alternatively shy with Barrett and a rampaging monkey who wanted to hang off him like she did Reece.

Barrett tolerated her sticky fingers and sharp elbows, her loud bellowing and chewed bottom lip with gritted teeth and humour that went over her head, but at the same time registered with her as an insult. She might only be a little kid, but she knew Barrett was being an irritable pompous twit.

They took turns putting Mia back to bed, drank too much wine and cried into their tiger prawns. Jeremy had been covertly unfaithful. Reece had a secret violent streak. Jeremy was an ungrateful deceiver. Reece was a flagrant liar. Jeremy was a bitch. Reece was a bastard. Jeremy was the best lay Barrett ever had, and the most outstanding business partner. Audrey would never find a man who’d give her more physical pleasure or more warmth and consideration than Reece. Barrett would take Jeremy back in a heartbeat, if the devil would grovel. Audrey would go after Reece if she could first buy a time machine and wipe out his vicious past.

It was a good thing they were shot of them.

Barrett said he’d take over as nanny until Audrey could find a new one. Audrey planned to ring around the local kindys and see if she could bribe her way to a place for Mia. She was sure Merrill would take her for the occasional overnights. It was a good plan, it would work.

It worked for one and a half days. Because that’s the other thing about Barrett. He wasn’t good with compromise. Or children. Mia had an epic tantrum when Barrett wouldn’t dance with her on Tuesday and Audrey had to come home from work.

Cameron arrived Wednesday morning to save them all from killing each other.

Reece arrived Friday morning to make Audrey wish they had.

He knocked on the door and Mia got there first. By the time Audrey appeared, dressed for work but shoeless, without having done her hair or make-up, Mia was in Reece’s arms whispering jokes and lies in his ear.

She stood inside the house. He stood in the driveway. “What are you doing here, Reece?”

He jogged Mia on his hip, looked Audrey straight in the eye. “I need to see you.”

He looked perfect, standing there with Mia, watching her as though his happiness depended on the next thing she said. “This is not a good time.”