Getting Real

r /> Rand knew exactly where to aim. Rielle felt his comment like the kick in the engine of the Harley, all engineered force and power but she fought back, flailing in the face of what she now recognised as the deepest truth. She loved Jake. “What’s he done for me?”

“Now you’re being wilfully stupid. He’s in love with you and the whole frigging crew knows it. You know it too.”

Her face felt hot. “So what, I didn’t ask for that? What am I supposed to do with that?” The nausea in her gut roared.

“Listen to it.”

“What does that mean?” She looked down the corridor. If she didn’t get out of this conversation she might throw up.

Rand caught her chin in his hand. “Stop making it so complicated.” She stilled and blinked her distress at him. She was not going to cry. She was not going to make this his problem. “Listen to your heart and quit talking yourself out of the best thing that’s happened to you in a long while.”

“But I’m no good for him.” She would take Jake’s goodness and poison it with her blackness. She would trash his honesty with her need to live her lies. Rand head-butted her lightly. “You don’t think he doesn’t already know what an insecure bitch you can be? But he keeps showing up doesn’t he?”

“Until one day he won’t.”

Rand released her and Harry appeared out of a doorway along the corridor and gave them a wave. They were ready in the studio. Rand waved back and stuffed his notebook and the scribbled on napkin into his satchel.

“True.” He stood. “But then you could do something about that if you weren’t so pig-headed.”

“What can I do about it? This is who I am, how I am. The only way I can face what I did.”

Rand held his hand out to her. “You could change.”

41. Family

Jake tossed the keys to Bonne from one hand to the other while he listened to Glen give a last update for the day. The set build was on schedule and they’d be ready for a sound check and a rehearsal tomorrow. When his phone rang he expected it to be Mum checking up on his arrival time, asking him to bring a forgotten item, milk or peppercorns or a certain brand of ice cream he’d have to visit at least three different supermarkets to find, so without looking at the screen he said, “What did you forget?”

“My manners.”

“Rie!” What was it about her voice alone that made colours look brighter, could change his weather both to sunshine and raging storm?

“Do you think your mum would mind if I accepted her invitation after all?”

He laughed, this was chocolate flavoured sunshine. Who gives a toss what Mum thinks. “I think she’d be delighted. Are you still at the studio? I’ll pick you up.”

“Are you sure you want to do this? I’m not really meet the parents material.”

“It’s been so long since I’ve had anyone home for dinner, let alone a girl, I’m pretty sure Mum’s beginning to think I’m gay.” He was trying to imagine Rie at the family dinner table. He was succeeding in imagining her in the gym, in his arms, in the rest of his life.

“You’re not, are you?”

Caught out not listening. “Not what?”

“Gay.”

Jake shook his head, growled. “You hate me don’t you?”

She laughed. “You’re pathetic. Come and get me, Jake. I promise I’ll be on my best behaviour tonight.”

“Yeah, that’s what’s worrying me. I’ve seen your best behaviour and it includes punching people, drinking too much, being entirely too sexy and seducing members of your road crew.”

“Just one roadie.”

“Better be. I’ll see you in fifteen.”

Jake couldn’t wipe the grin off his face when he helped Rielle off Bonne outside his family home.

Coming straight from the studio, she was dressed to shock in skin-tight pants that were shredded up the outside of her legs from ankle to hip and a strapless corset. Her hair was wild and her makeup was extra heavy, done for television lighting, so even more exaggerated than normal.