Getting Real

When she scrambled out of bed and fled to the bathroom, he let her go. He needed his distance. Dumb to put it all out there after all. He’d thought it might make him feel more himself, but it left him filled with anguish for what might have been, with bitterness for having hope.

Slumped against the headboard, he berated himself for misreading her so badly, for only seeing what he wanted to, and not what was real. The sound of her vomiting and water flushing in the bathroom brought him back to the moment.

At the bathroom door he said, “Rie, are you okay? Can I get you anything?” Her reply was muffled so he called again. “Hey, you okay?” In response he heard her strangled sobs.

He shouldered the door open and found her on the marble floor, on her hands and knees.

“Ah, baby.” He bent to lift her and she came easily into his arms. “What’s making you sick? Is this nerves? You know you have nothing to worry about.”

Rielle buried her face in his chest. Whatever was going on with her, she was hurting and despite the way she’d rejected him he couldn’t help but care about her. She was sweating and her heart was pounding. Maybe she was genuinely sick. She pulled away and blinked big wet eyelashes at him. He wasn’t sure he was ready for whatever she was going to say.

“I adore you, Jake Reed.”

His breath came out in a hiss of shock. Was she playing with him? Was this some new crazy, heartless diva act?

She raised her hand to caress his face but he leaned away. She gave a nod of acceptance and closed her eyes. “I’m in love with you, Jake.”

He gasped, disbelief soaring and expectation cruelly shackling him to the spot.

She opened her eyes and raised her hand again. This time he let her touch him. “But I don’t have anything to offer you. I’m not together enough to share my life with you. I don’t know who I am anymore. I’m fucked up, Jake, and you deserve so much more than me.”

He heard her as though he was underwater, as though his ears were closed and stuffed with wadding. As though she was a great distance away from him. “Did you just say—?”

The shake now gone from her voice, she repeated. “I love you.”

“Is this your fever talking?” He put a hand against her brow. She was hot and so pale. “Because if you’re delirious I—”

“The only thing I’m delirious about is you.”

Hope wore wings. It fluttered in his chest like moths. They stared at each other, neither of them moving, neither of them knowing what to say next.

But she was going to fucking cry again.

He lifted her and brought her back to bed. He held her against his chest and watched her eyes, still wet and red rimmed. He found truth in her steady gaze. In his head, he heard bells ringing, clear and sharp, a soundtrack for his joy. It might not be easy, but they had a chance. It wasn’t over; they weren’t done.

Jake explored Rie’s body as if it was totally new to him, with infinite tenderness and a slow, passionate build to a fresh abandon that drugged them both, fusing them closer together in the light of each other’s eyes. And then they slept, wrapped in the promise that something new had begun.

The crowd that night was fired with excitement; chanting the band’s name, calling for Rielle, stomping their feet, whistling, hooting and clapping their hands.

In Rielle’s dressing room, Rand worked gel through his hair. He needed a dye job. His blond roots were starting to show through. Behind him, Rielle had her foot on a chair, lacing a boot. She’d eaten and kept it down and now had colour in her face and no trace of the nerves that had plagued her for most of the tour.

“I asked Harry to marry me,” Rand said, out of nowhere.

“What!” she stopped, hands frozen over the tongue of her boot.

“Yeah, but don’t get too excited, she turned me down.”

“She what? Are you…? Wait. You seem all right. Good, even.” Rielle gave the lace one last tug and dropped her

foot to the floor, coming to stand beside Rand at the mirror.

“I am good. It’s all a little weird for her. The way we live, the business, the money. How quick this all happened. But I love her and she loves me, and I’ll wait until she’s cool with it. I’ll wait forever.”

Rielle gave him a shove. “Oh my God!”

He shoved her back. “I know, right!”

“She turned you down?”