Offensive Behavior

“Because it helps you understand how broken I am that I choose to dance for men to throw money?”

That stung. “No, no, because I understand why you dance, why you want to fly. It’s not only for the money and the scheduling. It’s because you get to defy gravity again.”

She nodded. “You’re not completely useless at people stuff.”

“I’m trying.”

For Zarley he was trying. For Zarley he wanted to be better at it in a way that professionally he’d never understood the need. At work people should be tough, it wasn’t personal, it was business, it was serious. When he’d criticized or been demanding, it was about the job. When he lost his temper or was unaccommodating it was about performance. But people brought their feelings to work and feelings got in the way of doing good work, but not in his bed.

In his bed, feelings were the job and he was sorely under-skilled.

She pulled on his earlobe. “I’ve had worse.”

“I want to learn how to be better at knowing what to say, how to say it. Not intimidating people.” He put his lips to her forehead. “I don’t intimidate you. Why?”

“There are no wimps in the gym. Wimps get hurt, they don’t win. I trained to be a winner. No, you don’t intimidate me. And I won’t stand for any crap.”

He’d seen and heard the evidence of that. “What does intimidate you?” Not drunks in alleyways, not men too sick to stand up on their own.

“Nothing. No wait, failing at this. Failing to make a decent life for myself now that my head is screwed on again. That terrifies me more than any competition I faced. It’s not a game for glory, it’s my future and it’s very different to the one I thought I’d have. No place for me in the gymnastics world, no sponsorships, no endorsements. I was out, cold turkey.

“One day I was perfecting the salto sequence for my floor routine and the next I was homeless, jobless, friendless and sick. I lost a lot of time feeling sorry for myself. At my lowest point I considered becoming a cam girl, simulating lap dances and stripping from my own bedroom.” She propped herself on his chest. “I can’t afford to screw up again.” She had a fierce look in her eyes. “I can’t afford to get involved with people who distract me.” He was under no illusion that’s how she saw him. “I know how to focus on goals and I’ve got my focus on.” She kissed his jaw and pulled back again. “This thing we have is a little side excursion. You don’t have to worry about me because we had sex.”

But what if he wanted to. He’d never so much as cared for a pet, let alone another human apart from Mom. Sure he had Owen, Dev and Sarina, and yes, Kuch too, but their primary relationship had been about work, and now he wasn’t at work, he didn’t know what he was supposed to do to be just a friend. And worse, he was hiding behind the contract clause that banned him from talking to them about Plus.

“What intimidates you, Reid?”

He laughed. Was she in his head? “Women.” Zarley.

She poked him in the ribs.

“That I can’t learn. That I’m too rigid, that I’ll continue to think of it as suffering fools when I should be, I don’t know. Sarina says it’s my job to help the fools see things more clearly without letting on I think they’re idiots, and that even kings kept fools around for a reason.”

“Sarina is a girl you never had over for breakfast or lunch.”

He nodded. “She’s a girl I went to college with. She runs HR.” The idea of Sarina being the kind of girl he’d want to kiss was ludicrous. She was one of the guys.

“She’s right.”

“I didn’t think so and I lost my company over it. That’s never happening again.”

“So I can trust you won’t show up at Lucky’s and drink yourself into another hangover.”

“I’m done with that. I’m not sure what comes next, but I’m done with wallowing.”

“You’re doing better than me. I wallowed for years, punished myself for losing everything I’d dreamed about, everything my family, Costin, my whole town expected to happen, and I still don’t know what comes next.” She kissed his chest. She was done with that conversation. “Though I’m wondering about your bath.”

“It’s big.”

“I noticed.” Her hand strayed down his stomach and he tensed, and she teased, passing it over his hipbone. “It would take both of us.”

“I guess. I’ve never used it.”

She sat and looked down at him. “You’ve never used that gorgeous big bath. You might as well be living in a tent.”

“Didn’t seem to be any point.”

She did the teasing move with her hand again. “Can you see the point now?”