“Then what?”
“I have stuff to do. I have classes today, and a paper I didn’t finish, and I have to work tonight. I don’t have a lot of spare time and you have all the time in the world.”
That couldn’t be how this ended. One day, one night. It wasn’t enough and yet it was everything. He approached her wanting to take the defensiveness from her posture, wanting her loose and lithe and in his arms again.
He stood in front of her, braced his hand on the wall, caging her between his body and the window. “So we’ve blown through this thing.”
She folded her arms over her chest and studied him. He wanted to kiss her, carry her back to the bedroom and keep her there. “This is how you want to play it?” he said.
“I asked you a question.”
She laughed. “Yeah, we’ve blown through it.”
He dropped his arm and stepped back. Jesus, what was he doing? “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”
“Come off all evil lord of darkness. Yeah, well, you did.” She unfolded her arms. “Look Reid, I’ve loved every minute of what we did. I have no regrets, but I don’t have time for games.”
“This is not a game to me.”
“Then you should’ve asked if I wanted to see you again.”
“I don’t want this thing to be over.”
“So you thought you’d communicate that by coming into the room like a storm front and trying to intimidate me.”
“I can’t intimidate you.” And that meant he had no idea how to get what he wanted from her if she wanted something different.
“No you can’t, but you tried all the same. I want no part of a thing where I’m made to feel like the enemy.”
He couldn’t look at her. All of this was on him, and unlike other people he’d turned rancid on she could walk away and never look back. She’d carve a ragged hole in him doing it.
“Be cool. I didn’t say I was finished with us. All I did was get out of bed to make a call. All I’m doing is going on with my life.”
“While I’m making an ass of myself.”
“Yeah, kinda.” She curled a finger at him, calling him to her side. “Tell me what’s going on with you.”
He stepped in front of her but kept distance between them and his voice low. “I’ve never felt the things you make me feel.”
“Okay, that’s reasonable.” She reached for his hand and some of the tension left his chest.
All he had to give her was honesty. “It’s not reasonable to come on all, what did you call me?”
“Evil lord of darkness.”
“That’s my default whenever I don’t have control. That’s why I lost my company. Shit.” He looked for condemnation in her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
She squeezed his hand and he stepped a little closer. He shouldn’t have fallen for her so quickly, it was all out of proportion, but his heart was beating so rapidly, so loud in his ears and he’d watched her, wanted her from a distance for so long, to have her this close and know he might lose her made him feel cornered.
“There’s definitely a thing going between you and me, but you can’t be sure how much it’s about the sex or about me.” He went to speak and she stopped him. “Don’t talk, Reid. Listen. I don’t have the energy to get involved with you and then find it wasn’t me you were interested in, it was just.” He opened his mouth and she said, “Don’t,” with her hand held up to stop him. “I want to see you again, but I think we should leave it a few days, a week. I think you need to sit with this a little while and see how you feel.”
“You think I’m acting like I’m sixteen all over again and going to make a fool of myself over you like I did with Dana Masters.”
“I think it’s hard to separate sex from caring for someone and I’ve had enough sex without care. I’m not going there again. You’ve thought about sex the whole time we’ve been together.”
He closed his eyes—he couldn’t deny it. Zarley’s mouth on him, writhing under him and dancing over him.
“I’m good with that, I’m even good with getting together for more of it, but I want to be clear about what’s between us and you can’t be till you get some head space.”