“That man has balls the size of Texas,” Shona muttered.
If Haley behaved like a man who knew what women were capable of outside of work, who used his good looks and glamour, his fame and professional power to do something as normal as fool around like other men did, Derelie might think Shona had firsthand, closely sourced, eyewitness knowledge of said Texas-sized balls.
But the collective powers of the paper’s editors, reporters, fact checkers, photographers and librarians had been unable to muster sufficient evidence that the human headline used his balls for anything as un-journalistic as sex, which had the makings of a tragedy as far as Derelie was concerned.
“Not for permission—for the stories that keep the presses and the dollars rolling in the first place,” said the man with the balls in question.
“This is not a debate,” said Phil with a savage tug on what little hair he had left.
“No, it’s our jobs, our livelihoods and the public good of the city,” said everyone’s sudden current favorite champion of the worker, using his rumored Texas-sized balls for the good of all.
“Christ, Haley, no one is losing their jobs.” Over the collective sigh of relief Phil said, “We’ll buy cheaper light bulbs and scratchier crapper paper, so when you’re all stumbling around blind with sore asses—” he pointed at Haley “—you can blame that asshole.”
Derelie knew working at the Courier would enlarge her worldview, but she’d had no idea today’s lesson was mostly going to center around sex and waste organs. She snuck a look at Haley. He was oblivious to the stir going on around him, leaning back on a wall with his eyes down on his cell phone screen, too cool for school.
Someone should have the dangerous job of investigating how Jackson Haley looked when he wasn’t suited up defending the city, his own face, or the newsroom. Not that she was volunteering, because fascination from afar was safer and the newsroom spin was that Jackson Haley was more into the men he liked to hit than anyone who wore a skirt and heels.
And wasn’t that a lifestyle story headline.